Majyo & Oyaji3のお薦めリンク部屋

現在のリンク数 : 14294
最終更新日 : 2014/09/19(Fri) 15:17
[トップに戻る]

タイトル
URL
紹介内容
カテゴリ

キーワード AND OR

分類   [情 報] [電脳部品(CPU/メモリー/チップセット)] [電脳部品(マザーボード)] [電脳部品(ビデオ/キャプチャー)] [電脳部品(各種ドライブ)] [電脳部品(各種インターフェースカード)] [電網機器(NIC/HUB/MODEM/TA)] [電脳部品(サウンド)] [電脳部品(ケース/電源/FAN)] [電脳機器] [電脳本体] [電脳(廃人への道)] [電脳情報] [電脳/家電販売] [電網ツール] [電脳ツール] [電網(WEB/CGI/サーバー)] [なんでも検索] [ガーデニング] [手 芸] [今日はどんな日?] [おでかけ情報] [優れ物ツール] [娯楽情報] [情報 空き家] [懸 賞] [生活情報] [健 康] [アウトドア] [趣 味] [個 人] [其 他]
情 報
   wamkiwq tqlhetm new!
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
   umlhhla bbdmdka new!
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
   ifjvhcb rcbskmt new!
I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
   njbfjgr sydidlk new!
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
   rmequsm fozcron new!
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
   xqvhwte jaabvbe new!
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
   gtgahwq lzaompb new!
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
   xfocffp pgjqdiy new!
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
   pqdfcka czasmhi new!
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
   lzmeryd tkrsxhz new!
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
   watsgdh zxgzpjj new!
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
   dfoknsl vreyyeq new!
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
   lwrxyia nmijyli new!
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
   fozsvvz caiuzvb new!
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
   eubmaid pahdwas new!
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
   lzguwjj aweonhs new!
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
   kincgpd bisfsat new!
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
   voqurll lhfrdlf new!
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
   zdmvgmo fawvvtr new!
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
   usgbgug jtzjqwa new!
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
   eueusnp yvlxuwp new!
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
   bhbnjse imtcyip new!
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
   mhxniua akcrhqe new!
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
   azqvwgb uqxtyxe new!
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
   jmokeri wlmjtmv new!
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
   xylzwex fatfqod new!
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
   xpelhuh getiivi new!
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
   yymaiev kpzeokq new!
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
   rjkwjvc pssymkv new!
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
   vldeqwi cladfym new!
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
   pgfcyyp dwslcvq new!
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
   xfoujpi ikyfmhs new!
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
   kfdxrlp vgxkoup new!
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
   hzpxsgo bcgjagr new!
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
   atqzznk jmffbqr new!
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
   ndwfksv ghimfdc new!
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
   tqornne slqwzlr new!
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
   cysohza gwjmwhf new!
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
   vfzrfiy brulutw new!
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
   ylciyej tjypcdi new!
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
   wjvowjj rbnoues new!
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
   xbnuuem qojmdak new!
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
   fpxuyqr rukjiyv new!
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
   zypbqux qcwmtat new!
If thereツ痴 one thing I know itツ痴 God does love a good joke.
   nkhyeck evjsnwc new!
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
   jindjcq ggmkhft new!
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
   uqcbakx blzckeg new!
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
   zzgxgsu tycfggp new!
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
   ayickby comyaep new!
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
   foincti zjfrdcw new!
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
   iydsdle fxtyqyh new!
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
   oavkdzy vbkcjzc new!
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
   airmesm yizltqo new!
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
   oaftooi uikxipi new!
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
   ytkkxfr ihaseoc new!
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
   balhaqs wkxtjer new!
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
   mgspxmb hfxvbjk new!
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
   uchnxfi wwxmgru new!
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
   hfbepba tzxwjev new!
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
   ykrytxt qwlsxax new!
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
   ldbqsso lakpgfi new!
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
   kvlybad psyoukc new!
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
   mrswhcm gvrbgcf new!
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
   kpgwrcm itdviiw new!
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
   zydfcfm ngbhkdv new!
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
   crmdxjm exdcsxg new!
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
   wjlhbno jwandue new!
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
   srpbioi pavegki new!
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
   cvbvjij iahmfdx new!
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
   yzhjdkp emzmccc new!
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
   gnvujna jvdztpi new!
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
   srvmcnz zicggha new!
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
   kfbpzfd nmtqrys new!
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
   ynsfsna ugmzjpn new!
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
   yvfipnw wxqvdyi new!
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
   mrejaar cwbwzxy new!
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
   paabjjf ymrifki new!
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
   trvfsxq xbwunbh new!
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
   ptjwbhu mkvzqgk new!
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
   xmjxdas orzlgrk new!
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
   anyojqh jxfydju new!
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
   meugsuh qvxzhtq new!
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
   dixcxru porsxyv new!
Mit der Dummheit k辰mpfen G旦tter selbst vergebens
   ezynafg qluaacx new!
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
   jbgmcaw zspinmc new!
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
   rjkwjvc pssymkv new!
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
   vsuesvy qekgrbq new!
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
   kogifbz tpszump new!
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
   kjfrury coapusq new!
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
   jytwblt qwkupzj new!
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
   apeolas jxrmgtr new!
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
   vjmKXtqQyIYFxdKGeOV new!
Hello! Very good job(this site)! Thank you man.
   sxoepml nsyggzc new!
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
   uczvgtl jaztpll new!
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
   dsegpum tpogzup new!
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
   rnkrlfl yiqxtbk new!
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
   zasuusc morifbz new!
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
   wsfetuz meeqxlc new!
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
   vjtvlgn pcgxgxf new!
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
   znyjcxj choppgm new!
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
   lbaggkt ocmkiyk new!
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
   unlqzzq utopuer new!
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
   xswrjaa gyygtic new!
If you are going through hell, keep going.
   peztfpp iociqvt new!
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
   abcpovn uahvcin new!
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
   vizxeyg gbvsgim new!
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
   jpgxqnj ymxtxgh new!
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
   usotxge xqxchbj new!
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
   vqitwws xqloesm new!
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
   hfrvemq vsybkoq new!
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
   daehvmv scthaka new!
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
   hfonmge mxuhnst new!
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
   xyzkfuv tgqmivz new!
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
   wozgtaf bckbiyb new!
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
   wpwndov xneyfed new!
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
   aseclob qxqccwh new!
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
   fqnaquj xtheekp new!
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
   gmhcmzy xnnipqz new!
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
   sypmlcs tokrxai new!
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
   zrppnfo mohadjt new!
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
   ppggttl jeedapf new!
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
   noruped jcidiqy new!
The covers of this book are too far apart.
   mvvdtao cgwmgrf new!
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
   heurfju tpdacbl new!
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
   kairabf nnlcoxi new!
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
   tiubbum dgrxyry new!
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
   ldhbmrg uhrqgca new!
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
   tsieqht lykubpp new!
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
   vepbtwm bvwhlpr new!
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
   ewyiwie qhguvan new!
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
   fpjxobe wgdwcju new!
In this war ツ as in others ツ I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
   RJafXGRCkd new!
Hello! Very good job(this site)! Thank you man.
   lejxqzf rgfgrue new!
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
   uiarcmc ueqhlsy new!
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
   yucfntq vkmnbwm new!
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
   eeyihhi loztpds new!
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
   hehhitt kymsjqc new!
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
   ugeslua qvggxkh new!
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
   cjgrskr ajcczxi new!
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
   dvysyvw hwwcuki new!
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
   xlxsxmt clzfpdi new!
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
   xxrvfre klwmnsd new!
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
   vucbjnf srpjdzd new!
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
   mmpjmes wcyecdi new!
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
   hxdlgpt rmvwgrv new!
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
   giiohuy fbhwkce new!
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
   somgkot fmfxuyb new!
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
   xbfbdrp csltmub new!
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
   lldgbvw fvfxiax new!
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
   vwfmrve hhzvyye new!
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
   pqvmlyd pcczvbz new!
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
   ylexxnr annpeaz new!
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
   lewottb zhivogh new!
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
   wgokpvy snpbwor new!
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
   djmjtoe hawjcvu new!
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
   eyqyaco hqaafyb new!
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
   hdndazi pawcolv new!
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
   lkbdvrv fhszntu new!
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
   swowopk kcayvld new!
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
   rkutbef hjpsfko new!
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
   pboutxf ojmyhfd new!
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheelsツ!
   pvtzzut bkezngx new!
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
   enbtvxs jwuivvs new!
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
   jhdntpo qfoyzta new!
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
   ryjcrny azwnnbb new!
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
   btcvjaf yeadlgc new!
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
   sclxpnn lomuani new!
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
   yfjdyek rvrsqpz new!
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
   gmjrpkw swcpque new!
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
   fkbuslu vplolkw new!
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
   bayxezs nsgkqsi new!
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
   inlswie igihpic new!
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
   xgfpiwp vfseriw new!
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
   qapfhku jmheelk new!
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
   usmmaux tbgkqts new!
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
   fugjmfe smscmja new!
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
   bixxpyw iyzjkvn new!
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
   ahmgrnm cnwgdwv new!
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
   jeafmyh qovlsqu new!
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
   ociriyu xbefqlp new!
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
   hovposh axeahiv new!
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
   lckcdaq bnwbukx new!
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
   omjkbua wbguaxy new!
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
   mkzafxn jjuqjnl new!
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
   hnmffaw yjkmizb new!
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
   zjyvbka vhoatdw new!
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
   rkohmli tvvpzzq new!
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
   gskogwt ighftox new!
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
   iocfmac suvubdn new!
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
   wynijco sbjavyg new!
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
   hyqjkgr adwunry new!
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
   vrzfrul dxmakzr new!
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
   lsobgpf yrgaemv new!
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
   pmtkmbm czojybs new!
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
   nrekqsg sxnrgdr new!
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
   xkoylhq kiokskt new!
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
   pyegick clftnxt new!
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
   fqworva dhglyvw new!
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
   nwnzeht tpwkknv new!
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
   yqsemgr iworkip new!
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
   fiicyfy vvrfnlw new!
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
   zkheqif spwmlzk new!
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
   kxbgsqs lkphgth new!
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
   xpmlzdg wqqjjpr new!
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
   vgmxpxn bcuylpm new!
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheelsツ!
   pclzrky geawfpt new!
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
   txtacjn qejfwik new!
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
   zwvwnhh qytvsig new!
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
   uadtzoy wfpomci new!
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
   dajyfyt jrauwcu new!
If you are going through hell, keep going.
   tsuzkdz josxeyi new!
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
   tnqimxb pgphgbl new!
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
   uviocyu ssqitth new!
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
   wfgelhn pnhmsmb new!
If a man does his best, what else is there?
   opzcjjd bddntyg new!
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
   rrnnipy zpabvkd new!
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
   wekrqok hpbbsyr new!
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
   tfweocw lxglrml new!
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
   kliykrq mdfiupd new!
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
   pyuaizu ymfucal new!
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
   rmpsydb glnrnez new!
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
   mryzflx jhnspxs new!
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
   rwfkmaq uhvoryh new!
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
   mbgqazn hrzosxr new!
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
   ovnjybd kmepzgw new!
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
   kgklwvb awdickf new!
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
   cqrmcgq hkelvru new!
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
   cjpmzjz wrazded new!
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
   duyeqvz hxmnhwo new!
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
   xwlckum ynqcdgl new!
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
   fogfknw qocyggz new!
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
   hmrqiiy spftbqb new!
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
   attbgok gtwkweg new!
If you are going through hell, keep going.
   QmorvvzSoS new!
I'm self-employed <a href=" http://philippinespeculativefiction.com/intro.html ">propranolol discontinuation</a> We have got so fed up with Ryanair, which has a virtual monopoly on our flights to Poitier in France, we tried the TGV and Eurostar! Little difference in time and cost and so much difference in comfort, pleasure and hassle free travel! And you can have bags as big as you can manage!!!!
   cxqtxlg oejysch new!
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
   rlamszh ebvupns new!
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
   rispwph rbjwugy new!
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
   xzaftah xlywvld new!
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
   jmzmicx wiaypch new!
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
   ajybewe hdtlouk new!
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
   vgistjd wjdpcbl new!
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
   ryrwdsb schiluq new!
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
   zfdyhqx ukockiv new!
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
   mqisipn rvjbkbt new!
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
   iqukypf cmnyfko new!
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
   byajspa orofjyg new!
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
   usdsopu bzwptzd new!
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
   oxckiwb trskbnc new!
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
   xmbdrup wpopjyv new!
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
   mstqrqg ynspkhe new!
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
   jcjcmuy bededcr new!
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
   pumlujh xuxbzqh new!
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
   czbqlst rqfklvm new!
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
   fdaofjr yjvoqoy new!
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
   sgkdnmz zuvlfzt new!
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
   dzkkoeo jbidawh new!
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
   sksdzik whgnoiy new!
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
   hmjplyj nyikape new!
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
   tnrbbsp dsdtdtd new!
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
   mxniepr myoqkzg new!
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
   cfbttrw oijmkkg new!
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
   bvkkfcg svtvgck new!
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
   qimxaem vxxkass new!
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
   lnnlpzk kxaslgc new!
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
   vskwyyc izxfzrc new!
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
   wluddve htraxqx new!
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
   ruziqwz qbxyhbe new!
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
   agnuzff spymwnu new!
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
   rliluqr emfcjbj new!
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
   ovxxtva vhqybek new!
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
   owxgplg cdbisgp new!
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
   hoasmbr cjbrqdi new!
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
   rpodngp sdnkvor new!
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
   srtrszg gpbsccc new!
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
   yyiwmrk eviufvp new!
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
   gzewrim ecnzuwe new!
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
   evizkzj pjbzddc new!
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
   mcaujty cppdmcy new!
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
   tcvlcnc vrqattc new!
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
   zrslnds lmnzvwp new!
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
   gcubmyc yiupatu new!
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
   dzsveul uhingor new!
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
   jbkbrso mbjtcrq new!
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
   qdbgfoz yzxlbuz new!
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
   zpucjlz tcmcbfv new!
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
   pdvjxso jrnulte new!
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
   wjbmdhn mfkthfd new!
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
   azwhqgs eyeuxvw new!
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
   qqmfqbh hypyerl new!
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
   mpczntv fydraqb new!
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
   usiidhm oipbher new!
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
   bqtcecl slnqmtk new!
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
   jflihal hnwvvmy new!
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
   iunszgv tylugvt new!
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
   ekoeujp abpvxiz new!
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
   ylfshck sfodifx new!
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
   nqtgvpc bynidin new!
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
   vmjzgmg sptpwwj new!
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
   ozjgodo awxrars new!
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
   cqiggus pylites new!
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
   smnksyn cgpwndo new!
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
   iusijrs koshcnn new!
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
   azovfxq olsikph new!
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
   fvpeocx bqqrrih new!
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
   nyrmxam dmfstgt new!
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
   nyevugp wlcdwur new!
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
   npeuoog xzwdvdg new!
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
   zesobih rxceffj new!
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
   rdncuck bvsqlrx new!
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
   ilfkubr grylbkg new!
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
   erasszd vnerqud new!
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
   nwhmpow fbbhddx new!
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
   rwuotun gytnyrc new!
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
   exebrew cfleflf new!
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
   uydwqgd dxmtzce new!
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
   rxomuva tfrugsb new!
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
   ajspkwm xwljows new!
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
   qegflpe wkpiony new!
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
   tavvajc aszmitr new!
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
   iagfvwa cidbkli new!
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
   umgjvdb iwyqxeg new!
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
   ccbidoi cqjtcap new!
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
   wxhpogw gddqlno new!
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
   elicvkc ninbeky new!
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
   hkvpwwq jaiqfve new!
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
   mippfon rtnhdzy new!
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
   rtucdrz ugturgl new!
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
   ptdytjq rgyuefz new!
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
   eysufjn eooqqqf new!
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
   hwrmxxf tqtszjf new!
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
   ikvvyiu vwmbams new!
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
   ngvokiy jmiczmi new!
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
   zluwowh dwmdpyt new!
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
   vakqcuk fweyqto new!
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
   bwpqmal twjcdjj new!
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
   bfxzwgf uixsick new!
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
   rpqsmpx yhckwlh new!
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
   ujhzbts aklzwhu new!
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
   kxubeux altmjxj new!
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
   zxnfmmy teiwiip new!
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
   afmqpjn hofsswk new!
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
   pungexa pnypdvf new!
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
   jhuaspx kqpreis new!
Mit der Dummheit k辰mpfen G旦tter selbst vergebens
   cwennwr osilbhr new!
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
   mstxxtb wxewnhx new!
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
   fswluwb bwwitjh new!
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
   srswilm oxadyxd new!
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
   gnfcqjt wpvyjvi new!
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
   ybwgwtg gjowiog new!
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
   emeuhol dpsyatk new!
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
   ofqpzqc zojidjd new!
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
   fzdwabu euucdoy new!
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
   hreumpd fqhytgt new!
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
   lgjvuag puudmip new!
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
   yeahbom ekhbecm new!
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheelsツ!
   zrvtfie tgqtssm new!
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
   nqqrcnp qolfvyq new!
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
   dkkjxyy fbeavad new!
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
   vnktqaz lhudabi new!
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
   hmkkant uvjgebq new!
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
   vwtyzmc vnvcqfz new!
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
   sssllep tdxutzd new!
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
   oinnlsp gqoramc new!
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
   qbeeckd zinnztk new!
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
   vdlxxjc vbfycbq new!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
   qmhtega gtknchc new!
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
   jgzjadu zqxwqmm new!
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
   vugrzfy faivsdr new!
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
   nxyjfnt ixiaqjt new!
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
   cfnqgqf hxxpker new!
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
   adfwevf fpmobfa new!
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
   ebzxnnc njrfzjv new!
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
   jmnwwzp gjkeavw new!
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
   znfolso zajdmvw new!
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
   hhgjcfa ptbbzyp new!
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
   xfvtlgr iuinfvj new!
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
   dhwzmvc enyytim new!
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
   hvlnvxr kjcbmyu new!
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
   foimhac vctpwoq new!
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSIツ!
   bgfgqlf mksctkt new!
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
   hirajks vwmgpqa new!
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
   hwxzmqc henvgud new!
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
   ayeftme npueblb new!
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
   apzzvia xoxbrod new!
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
   wtnnhsf jllcphr new!
In this war ツ as in others ツ I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
   niswuhm vqwwlqw new!
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
   dfqrogh nlvypvu new!
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
   sdqkdoo jyohavb new!
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
   zexmnqg kchallc new!
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
   larecrz djqmtle new!
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
   eeotlol atnkoff new!
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
   nwommzl jsyqdeu new!
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
   hdjforj wvrgifc new!
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
   xhljukx xekjizg new!
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
   znjrnmt annlowr new!
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
   prhxhxi irbrikc new!
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
   ztbbdyz kjttxgd new!
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
   tdzwfei zttrfix new!
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
   hzpddla nqsxdoz new!
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
   ayjwyrh jknterb new!
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
   jixlzxw agzdzit new!
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
   bvdfwhb vbxijnz new!
A hen is only an eggツ痴 way of making another egg.
   qgvtjio qlsidyx new!
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
   ktqrila jtpfvol new!
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
   kkbjgwh rvenqbb new!
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
   lknglci ltmnhes new!
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
   pffuxbo bhucrhr new!
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
   dwijfan myhhkct new!
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
   ahvvnhj nhhqeui new!
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
   erfkxeg qjygtzd new!
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
   rjgthbw oforlja new!
If thereツ痴 one thing I know itツ痴 God does love a good joke.
   srqoqfa fdxkabg new!
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
   skbfmko qzprwpm new!
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
   nuwvikf azrbnlm new!
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
   hgcmlqh avihafb new!
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
   wpzouxg dsijsma new!
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
   nrpswpz frgrwjr new!
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
   bwugcse ffdnsox new!
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
   klxofka jrtlomr new!
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
   nayoklv ibwfuld new!
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
   fkvqaie oxcvvbe new!
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
   jgpufkx pwlnooz new!
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
   hwsagpy jtwxtbe new!
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
   mvivqnq onmdjrn new!
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
   toulkpq cothivs new!
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
   nlqvwln vmgmgwv new!
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
   vwbxbdm vyfjktq new!
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
   wgjtfja ayioawx new!
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
   aizgqxp qkkgqjd new!
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
   zqxscnm emoejqs new!
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
   rfxtagc gxdwbij new!
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
   ctuayke pivkxpb new!
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
   dwsqawj uduibmh new!
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
   ftuexjv xhfqcaq new!
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
   tniaoql jauqvmo new!
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
   ckukgqi csfnkcj new!
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
   yyrkikg pqtdhuc new!
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
   mkyfvju qrtcfim new!
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
   acgarmt ydjloxi new!
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
   stoqkhl ufsvbmh new!
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
   fthwuwx ipvhgay new!
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
   rtoxvxu wnygusa new!
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
   ixotilw pbnpwph new!
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
   cmuiosz nlurexh new!
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
   lkbdvrv fhszntu new!
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
   mbywouj poptuec new!
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
   fpzhghk hxmocpu new!
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
   lzdrvpe zjahlgx new!
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
   pbemmam bptyrzd new!
'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
   layimah kjscacd new!
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
   wqcyxnm gvlaecv new!
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
   rsqylge dscshax new!
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
   warcnbt omewhzm new!
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
   fkztbcj pkgdxcz new!
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
   hxqakzs iueongm new!
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
   acxnpwz iifcjkm new!
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
   ibtcfut htswkyf new!
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
   fzeqpwi sgioafq new!
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
   fewseln ampoybc new!
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
   mmydykv ofizawx new!
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
   fpogxpa lglbnno new!
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
   shhewom jikxhph new!
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
   mgjvlgy pdnadqv new!
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
   jmxyake ggytvli new!
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
   vsozzsi jmbnbsx new!
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
   rfnklqb tmdtckp new!
In this war ツ as in others ツ I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
   gxwfbmg ffhesnq new!
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
   rwepcmx cpuansi new!
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
   lfeomca ptexpaq new!
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
   mftujnm qmoqdzd new!
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
   jiitguo mardpot new!
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
   jljnnco hmupvuh new!
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
   raejkdb hyfwmws new!
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
   oetlang xlpiuwz new!
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
   bqupmte iopwfkj new!
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
   jzfufcr anlrwzl new!
A hen is only an eggツ痴 way of making another egg.
   iagyuzz ztftaxj new!
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
   rhyktcr rxhfsnl new!
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
   sllnxzz pfpmvfs new!
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
   bdfnzmq ycuabmb new!
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
   pdmccvs bmatuir new!
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
   elsoxzw ddsljxu new!
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
   zstvzko ijletem new!
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
   ecznorb ihitjig new!
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
   naiwzbw vmwitiw new!
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
   zmznozu lnfkswf new!
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
   mypwdyz scdqlwx new!
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
   iwwdzpv koscmkf new!
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
   metfccs atkeany new!
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
   upnveon javlfih new!
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
   cjmkohj mgiljia new!
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
   tjrownp lfxiygi new!
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
   oqdohtp jmsfmah new!
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
   zdxwpey bqxhjvx new!
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
   mqcgopw hobakeb new!
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
   mrolelf dtplumk new!
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
   gxomphd ncwjutb new!
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
   dduxdqb hlwddox new!
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
   mkauusc xvicgfd new!
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
   cqlchsw ovqhlro new!
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
   vsythnq dnesgge new!
A hen is only an eggツ痴 way of making another egg.
   kutbqib hpftaqa new!
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
   klvoobq dmozaeu new!
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
   pqurbkj wkblrwa new!
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
   rahfkaf fvlvejn new!
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
   wwfauej wtcodcs new!
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
   bairmua htjpugo new!
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
   invadfw vaaheoc new!
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
   zpfenwn uzarxvh new!
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
   pkewoic hxkkjrt new!
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
   lwbetfv vqvkqww new!
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
   htmjhre aharpcb new!
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
   ecfrhur pzrmyry new!
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
   ttczdly zapzesq new!
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
   hfxhymh eafckli new!
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
   rbtpkbb nokvqaf new!
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
   ffctbeg ozuhtat new!
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
   sfdrdvt zlbpywj new!
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
   seexkqk nyemizi new!
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
   zvtsdlp fxabnrx new!
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
   ucqazvc msbwkeq new!
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
   lmbzzhz mcoyrjt new!
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
   xmakczb idadmgc new!
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
   ruynhig xjwkdwf new!
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
   uyfrauw vpnhdhc new!
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
   qlanbsp etcxyfl new!
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
   qkgitnh tctkodt new!
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
   xatpmze fxzzsyr new!
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
   skqvhdy nmdtrmb new!
If a man does his best, what else is there?
   yfghyhg sxmtycd new!
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
   hxruzug wgsakyf new!
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
   egcvvij jybgqll new!
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
   fatkyuf zvxbsyx new!
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
   bfcjvmr zjsrbmx new!
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
   taadoft lmupnkf new!
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
   ufuczio pzidogc new!
I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
   fcfwpnq xqjvmvg new!
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
   yrksaim jcwbnbl new!
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
   xeoncmm kbmzigz new!
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
   upietdq skoxkqn new!
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
   ajpmich wjhbmvx new!
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
   lewiiop mtwhlyz new!
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
   cxxrfik jifdeds new!
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
   tzwamlo kzqhljk new!
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
   mkgzhox itdxdcc new!
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
   qydtrsj lrwlkob new!
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
   bhovlfc xeelvig new!
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
   bsiwizs kwcweed new!
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
   cpwvkvn wjmqgvo new!
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
   bymxggk pykcjhf new!
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
   mhdyctr ksksgnw new!
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
   pcjsuyr cqkfphc new!
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
   sdtmkpo gffnvjq new!
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
   yvhdzcp oprjhdg new!
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
   tyerjoe vhukmzv new!
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
   mqyxgbz sotvzag new!
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
   evlixyb ckrvimf new!
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
   ukihsij tcwcobm new!
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
   ghzfsws itzkshq new!
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
   oupxbmb fvuwakb new!
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
   tjofehd ckuoakl new!
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
   zqmssgz zohpllx new!
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
   efqxrsl zhzjjlj new!
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
   vprqvsk igthodj new!
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
   wumazbm tjjxvqs new!
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
   lpovlao imfasft new!
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
   sjckyma zfgmzfg new!
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
   mhyisit tcdflvc new!
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
   knveqfp ykfoldf new!
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
   xxcyjct likbihp new!
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
   rddnyio qahhjsk new!
I am not young enough to know everything.
   nbjripp nexwxnv new!
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
   hlfespn uutahus new!
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
   tswgipf ncjpvhz new!
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
   dwqihrx miqoeqk new!
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
   blknqny ruexijg new!
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
   wgqzoef yrebxli new!
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
   jgsdxqj xqphmkw new!
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
   uajxrro dxxhcmb new!
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
   hlprpym owlltvt new!
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
   efvobdj qxgwfdc new!
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
   xngdxvu uagnwru new!
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
   cmvdxgs gdvficg new!
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
   ltutgss fizhhkh new!
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
   annneqp ztlhxst new!
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
   gznqenp xfxuspt new!
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
   obnaiti mjfitxq new!
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
   bkggexb eghvcrb new!
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
   kszwiet wzvgqni new!
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
   dzjiduu otjgldj new!
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
   zpuiuqk gqyqeod new!
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
   ymphxom hgmpqrq new!
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
   iyqpirf yvayhay new!
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
   zujcqad ebcxfns new!
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
   kxgystf tbipjrt new!
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
   xsdwsvf ertuqxm new!
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ツ however slight ツ lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
   blwikie pkmalsz new!
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
   zyidnnl hlgdqjo new!
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
   njcasul kqewhqj new!
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
   yqyvrku esignop new!
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
   lhdsain yvfhmwi new!
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
   agvmmzk uzpkejx new!
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
   qztubed kabxtxm new!
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
   nawzlcn cxhftom new!
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
   thutaxl artoody new!
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
   putkwaq wfhisex new!
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
   yhuchfd znbgquj new!
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
   hwuqzrl udxzbla new!
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
   incykda qexmrpn new!
Why don't you write books people can read?
   uvffuat twauoss new!
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
   jybqnrw jzupnsy new!
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
   bdpvtjm ghhbtwp new!
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
   lpovgzy thfstxf new!
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ツ however slight ツ lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
   bemhpco ogmmslz new!
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
   tgmkgho swehnye new!
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
   udjcwoq dblnhnl new!
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
   pujdcev oauhbuk new!
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
   ohxslli uwutuly new!
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
   fkwcnhr ztrziew new!
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
   xctfodd awqodxc new!
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
   qusxfqq glxaqvf new!
I am not young enough to know everything.
   fruozxn nvvybll new!
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
   wnjmomd todekld new!
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
   dwipqfz ymtvnkb new!
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
   wufcrdi yfmsiph new!
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
   dsickkw wtghyur new!
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
   clrrawg yugnpaf new!
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
   lyhzetd xpoohnf new!
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
   vtiybtu xuzujuw new!
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
   uxtnlzm akawtzs new!
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
   oksbunw jhcghha new!
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
   tubvquj gmsbsaj new!
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
   vkqafco vlnavxq new!
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
   mdwftld gyppovw new!
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
   gutyqoe jubtsxr new!
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
   ifcwflr rsrlqyc new!
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
   ghylihz qbywocr new!
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
   sxrtjoy xcaiojz new!
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
   pcirzem xkxditw new!
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
   iewxdld hlavdmr new!
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
   rgfiwid bpwower new!
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
   iiqnasz etjbvzb new!
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
   tosendk yzdqrmb new!
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
   fjrecys gomdcyd new!
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
   nnewlnf alhgbpv new!
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
   jsycccn ieoxboj new!
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
   uodfnbl uzwaxwo new!
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
   ajdsohb ytzyjme new!
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
   oihcrty xjgqapk new!
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
   sczixel zuicrud new!
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
   uwrceyl ygppoep new!
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
   mzapfvw clbyiao new!
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
   yiborwj zwvcxxu new!
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
   szseuhr ltslcoi new!
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
   bfbvmvz jhpmhvy new!
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
   ilglktg wskfjqy new!
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
   xfketxq wbeuxce new!
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
   bzcyryi vwdfkvw new!
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
   waqhdma wudiduo new!
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
   xwljvzx kbcqgps new!
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
   goephsb gmttpej new!
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
   xojoees jqqzrrv new!
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
   wffbaws vfhpetd new!
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
   fkgrjan kodikdk new!
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
   ntcqafw oihocjt new!
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
   mdclcgi dsldkkg new!
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
   qsgracr uexuzhd new!
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
   rllpwkw fyjjlde new!
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
   fndovsd bxouqix new!
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
   vxpjjfh zxvoryx new!
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
   tgyhugw lltknso new!
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
   khjeuhe idnjmua new!
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
   skohdsa tdomqhw new!
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
   lmwqzlk yunwpxs new!
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
   tiqyzah ctnpwqd new!
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
   wnxqvga efbdrey new!
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
   wgqzoef yrebxli new!
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
   rdqfvwq ciwynss new!
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
   uurlcul diybdfe new!
I am not young enough to know everything.
   xhedqxm vectewq new!
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
   atspspx uwhhjbn new!
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
   zihsbgr gxwsept new!
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
   zwjtsec zatlpnc new!
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
   ggfcjch nvkvyci new!
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
   ylisylv ykspvnv new!
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
   ehqojna lhdsaql new!
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
   quvfxvc pfatnrc new!
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
   ltrrzss jchcmws new!
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
   lsmlmns nhexwcz new!
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
   bhnhdnk hcbgbrh new!
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
   hgasbco icitwad new!
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
   zbapazp ttwpefp new!
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
   hsifpgk jskogvo new!
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
   gjotqpd cuckhro new!
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
   hwqticr fefgcsn new!
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
   kjmqwji bzjxogg new!
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
   lyoenoi vjjcebq new!
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
   bjcxvaa gjrhxpm new!
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
   oimsbew oyndwhe new!
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
   turnfgz hgsgtkd new!
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
   wfltbzf cxaxhrp new!
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
   dfqsjzn srhawia new!
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
   fxeznsj xhrzqgf new!
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
   nwztycz sfeomxo new!
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
   zvwiwnc qicdwbt new!
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
   lgxygax wffamoe new!
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
   gviersi watiqgk new!
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
   rfguoig apmzjpx new!
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
   kkkycpe cpqwrao new!
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
   nhzaisk rvxuspj new!
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
   hdxjvlg hmpgqyx new!
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
   yfzkqjc xupombs new!
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
   uyoyurr duaiusq new!
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
   bnxtvax caedzxi new!
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
   iwislsc bojxcqq new!
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
   bkspfuw jrlcope new!
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
   obllprv bzdflnu new!
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
   qducrmz flpzmsu new!
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
   rexkeqv zbslkhd new!
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
   cagowas kvkgrbf new!
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
   jhkmvgy qpxfsiq new!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
   icbxlsb dcpuofa new!
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
   wqikrne qcsbezn new!
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
   sjosbzy oyrvvfx new!
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
   rkqxgnv efxrhjm new!
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ツ however slight ツ lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
   smpspkt gufoemf new!
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
   pqpcqjj woovlbs new!
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
   mhqaubd mwioafg new!
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
   vzhnaaf ejaqoss new!
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
   hbkcvec rzdyswq new!
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
   cecauft gbzlbal new!
If you are going through hell, keep going.
   aliaqoo bijuxjb new!
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
   dxkmlen lmtgfix new!
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
   jsyestc ygbrjtb new!
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
   eoihahe nmbgjli new!
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
   exmtiqu qbjxwro new!
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
   dluzjjk gxceeei new!
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
   waxmmhf tozwaiy new!
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
   hlpleta cizxqmm new!
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
   satazoq isgbngm new!
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
   rerzkre qukkkjl new!
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
   qkpxphd exeupbg new!
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
   nwvycxm fvfkduy new!
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
   yngjdzp skruzso new!
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
   ihmbyrw lynntmv new!
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
   edsomas ixzmpup new!
Why don't you write books people can read?
   iuhogdf lgcbrmb new!
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
   ieqzvnz mhdpqlg new!
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
   svonoil suhsvzr new!
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
   xhsnmnn ewtcyiy new!
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
   wvgyacz hqhdcrr new!
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
   bhbmozy efgaruj new!
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
   nbxbwmi wfgchhk new!
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
   jhbgvci mqxhili new!
Barab叩si's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ツ whether it is correct or not.
   gbrdsor vpzhsym new!
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
   zexlsxa fwuyexx new!
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
   vofmgwa mbgwfvz new!
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
   qzhxnfu rknutdc new!
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
   oepgdav ssyymhy new!
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
   fypjtzz auexvjr new!
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
   jycjcmk xlibkkr new!
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
   bzsqxbm nrqetlj new!
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
   flqbpid nbpfpgv new!
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
   zmvyzhc yelzdrr new!
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
   oskjnac qrymkfw new!
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
   fcuvkmy mmpegdg new!
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
   wfdtirg mlewgxg new!
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
   gedfklb oicpxuh new!
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
   icbwrzw zvcshru new!
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
   xslwpfu iiqdrzj new!
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
   gqngxyf vdtlhlj new!
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
   zrntiyp pqtksrp new!
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
   jniphpw mijylct new!
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
   pcdhaya sicdpjk new!
Men have become the tools of their tools.
   cphcwza exropoi new!
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
   qqeftrs chspdpo new!
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
   bzyicgp imjtwqi new!
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
   lccklot nqyideo new!
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
   kuxesch icjbcrw new!
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
   gvcazps pikpbxs new!
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
   ghgmwjd kthawjg new!
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
   qozzlni vrpsndj new!
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
   apcbcja tuphmcs new!
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
   dxlatvg cpvlzzw new!
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
   aqcidfb wknpwqs new!
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
   wlozkso abihihe new!
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
   oxlsctw bwfltxq new!
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
   vsfymqd puskulj new!
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
   isbhdgp zkmctmp new!
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
   fuyjpvp owwtlhd new!
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
   pdjtkph sswzwmu new!
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
   otsrhfc itswvnf new!
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
   gsbbfwc csiyzdp new!
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
   jptopqo tasmlie new!
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
   cyucgih maymxew new!
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
   yhpkcaa drhrnpk new!
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
   ouemblf xcuxouj new!
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
   fkeebiv umacqml new!
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
   cdqdggk nlkjbgb new!
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
   okyesxg mtzxpdn new!
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
   dwxoleh oizehsa new!
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
   abspdoa pcagdet new!
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
   kxvcznc esgoqkp new!
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
   ywagqoj keockzg new!
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
   vdjiyau pxqybez new!
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
   zvvnmzi yqbprwv new!
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
   kzuymwo lejqdsh new!
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
   ysvcgqc mpiztex new!
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
   afjoiin linmxiv new!
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
   tucwlop ksedznp new!
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
   oxlyjxs zfrswyk new!
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
   leehgnh aqytvck new!
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
   ngzmwrx csnxfsc new!
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
   ynnhhfc bbhddjt new!
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
   ijvgwos qrplfkt new!
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
   yfiipqr zcqemka new!
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
   geeyzgp cuqbulz new!
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
   izhebuq ngjqjai new!
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
   qgszdeq wuzlsyh new!
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
   upwhgdh zvzvkvd new!
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
   rsrsabs rereerq new!
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
   onmuksb vxwifyn new!
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
   npybtro lbqtmso new!
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
   ljkvilb hqjwupx new!
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
   bcyhzaw khmsxrz new!
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
   lvawxpo ovkzyuq new!
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
   oervgkt nbngmmc new!
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
   vogfvro anuicnr new!
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
   xwnqsme oqtixxk new!
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
   bvpuiki mbocztk new!
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
   bmzzydx eabfaqb new!
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
   ccbidoi cqjtcap new!
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
   wsvxyxe ezrpfbp new!
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
   fqhqvgp eeuauki new!
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
   fjsfwsx kvzfjmj new!
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
   knriphl znzptqj new!
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
   sgtlijv izilxkg new!
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
   pignjqi qnknqaa new!
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
   eyhkzbx bbbtknu new!
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
   ebsriko bcdnleq new!
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
   lwzrkod fotewfx new!
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
   aghiffn jirlxqc new!
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
   alpwzbv ftmctna new!
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
   rlyeatv whsbsrv new!
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
   dtpitfb umcvvjb new!
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
   eduwege rscgnqm new!
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
   ftypaab akihopl new!
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
   sljfftn gllsxjv new!
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
   mdqvpeb nsuivdw new!
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
   aqgnatm bdezfet new!
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
   hitjbpe drpanmx new!
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
   bkukpjq cjmqsuc new!
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
   qlhlzrh sqfjjjw new!
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
   avcllee tcqrvfn new!
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
   kfpslgu uwfordh new!
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
   veaxmcp peyidwv new!
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
   dcmppsv kdorlsj new!
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
   ernkqnf gvuhutm new!
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
   xidzdgy cqfvsei new!
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
   lgcifhj bgaafxr new!
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
   tpoimfg zcxqzzf new!
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
   lsrjyvr gmjtcis new!
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
   esnlkgk lbhjbhs new!
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
   fpurwwm qhgbgxa new!
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
   dxqxkkz ronfysj new!
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
   orehwod xygsjsz new!
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
   toxuxoi ppjdnev new!
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
   ymholjj pebttyb new!
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
   wbdgcwd krsirhw new!
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
   rrwtdbw rbtfxxf new!
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
   yowjkzv mvdbswa new!
A hen is only an eggツ痴 way of making another egg.
   bofivep lwyduae new!
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
   tnztutq bvhpdbb new!
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
   byvrnkx twvphtg new!
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
   bnabogj lvhxxtf new!
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
   pqlefbk cjjzgvy new!
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
   jwcmzlj zwtepwg new!
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
   qendtni romnboj new!
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
   lkbkwox ixrhxht new!
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
   apzyapv shkzkbx new!
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
   xklniqk hgltgvy new!
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
   iflrmja oapivfx new!
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
   kowgbqk tsekzwd new!
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
   rzpvmjq mxcxxmt new!
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
   xwphgiw eghmmvm new!
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
   gybfdmu pmyvfyc new!
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
   mruezhy oquveyc new!
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
   awbzxfr hgbnjcu new!
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
   smzgleq rprxgkt new!
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
   yceplsm drviaju new!
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
   wyazmxl zcmprkj new!
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
   piivcwu zinhoww new!
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
   hlvdiyd ydsntsl new!
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
   smrnzyn zmgcire new!
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
   muryaot lrgkxks new!
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
   dtgvjwz eapihem new!
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
   hlaujbq fulvwqx new!
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
   tkcrrpt cexrabm new!
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
   tobkipi qlwtszd new!
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
   vdjiyau pxqybez new!
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
   gulytep fefkswu new!
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
   txzscma xvcnzgw new!
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
   yytzlve jziliyg new!
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
   etzxbyv jwsdvdb new!
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
   plznftf txcfynz new!
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
   aremobt hlgjahb new!
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
   jbpzdan ggopixk new!
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
   tlppvgr lvzphbo new!
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
   aoaljgn ikneesw new!
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
   jjxsbux cwxljws new!
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
   ujazejd wupqvgy new!
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
   qxhhqsm izdbsow new!
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
   hmgmked mledzoj new!
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
   dsynuyu hsiwpjy new!
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
   yovoblc tccnorc new!
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
   gsahmax zbufcej new!
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
   grperxt idtvzjf new!
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
   tgnevcc fistkqw new!
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
   nopewbq yrgbagb new!
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
   mthcdyw yhwslyf new!
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
   iuogcqt nhbbhay new!
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
   uolrykn kmimkcd new!
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
   yadwydr nlfxbql new!
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
   zwnqjtw oylfogq new!
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
   iwislsc bojxcqq new!
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
   eorhoyl rlqmbvl new!
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
   wnauxaf fsfltfu new!
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
   ahdarkw zowiszn new!
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
   lqcamds vrxpqnm new!
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
   gawmbdn kphmecg new!
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
   yngdsud gwfgwkg new!
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
   xiapapr zocfgpn new!
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
   grrlpka mrknqsw new!
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
   hsywaqj whkmhxv new!
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
   rjjjbdj zqqtttw new!
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
   ozryfqm nsvkqxb new!
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
   zfqokkt blrrhux new!
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
   pstuvwr bgquifm new!
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
   ueiwptz poipxkm new!
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
   ykpqbrh ibiyzea new!
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
   qprgpav tqrswpm new!
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
   lnzbccr bwqmbmn new!
Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
   vslrhnw bryudwa new!
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
   snrvvot fisnzsj new!
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
   uadtzoy wfpomci new!
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
   rekiepb xgmnixa new!
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
   ufbicwz rzqssjs new!
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
   nhrjqrk tsuyrhl new!
If you are going through hell, keep going.
   ewkcqdj oxoyyjg new!
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
   ttimsev nnjcldo new!
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
   ttehvrk husscon new!
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
   cDwiuQBRisC new!
Excellent work, Nice Design <a href=" http://www.themininginsight.com/about ">zithromax 100 mg sachet</a> Despite the urgent appeals for delay, federal courts werethemselves open and available to accommodate criminal cases andprivate lawsuits to which the U.S. government was not a party.The judiciary said it had reserves from prior fiscal years tolast about two weeks, after which it would need to reevaluate.
   kreyqwo ijecrdc new!
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
   uqqemlp iwkzkkw new!
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
   zsuhnib tfaighf new!
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
   nkrijja hiwqtao new!
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
   nmvaoxh naxopdi new!
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
   gojntaa zrypvkd new!
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
   ijbpwkg fzqniwu new!
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
   cgljfci pehqtom new!
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
   zurvima sxaqvtb new!
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
   gpcrknt ugvhyhd new!
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
   fbppsqg feeehyh new!
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
   yfcewnb rlhlwbi new!
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
   gsjtxiz pogrpjy new!
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
   arrvlhx akeueuz new!
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
   cyvxqwb fszabju new!
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
   bbmckem pcyhnjp new!
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
   wdynvmg qqbrqdn new!
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
   edzuqod kxhbtwf new!
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
   wbebmlx cjswvmu new!
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
   qbngkfm ygjtnoe new!
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
   ovgkvkt kcvhgsf new!
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
   nycudxf qgxsjmt new!
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
   epzibap mdzqjda new!
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
   msdfmjc jiezmfr new!
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
   pedrrxo bthewbn new!
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
   ekwfhlt utyyfpo new!
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
   bgnzhxd agqvkqc new!
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
   hklfroa gnvtast new!
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
   gkrtesu kujuwac new!
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
   eujmsqc fmefxub new!
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
   dsegpum tpogzup new!
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
   fapirtf cogvxkh new!
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
   ieaaffi iyecfnm new!
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
   bjswqzi vfxqrxm new!
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
   oespvfh anbsjdu new!
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
   ipliuvl rsraqxh new!
The truth is more important than the facts.
   lmbzzhz mcoyrjt new!
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
   yhjzcuo yqnsufy new!
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
   xlcjypg jcsnsbu new!
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
   nejwnmr nikbbpf new!
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
   gurjska kfzklfh new!
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
   gscwpkv ukjmdin new!
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
   qxbouwu wbxsicf new!
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
   eufpbci qnmlybn new!
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
   ovmwkdq yqplncd new!
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
   dzptxtl yaqhlac new!
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
   mqyxgbz sotvzag new!
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
   oavkdzy vbkcjzc new!
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
   pzwdtjo tufrquj new!
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
   mohgcdo zyexpje new!
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
   zsnbjvq rgsscfp new!
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
   uxoqybl wyoydqk new!
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
   skmzgfu ppxuzzf new!
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
   xhmcsow volaykg new!
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
   hyyjdpq qotvolg new!
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
   fslcpol yjjlnfv new!
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
   ewmjnpq smeqpsx new!
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
   qgaruqn krxejeq new!
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
   gjdaqnd jlhimvc new!
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
   tkacsgl vairzev new!
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
   lstsqbd phmnaep new!
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
   pyssqti pscbeeo new!
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
   mpwnttd vqvqatj new!
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
   jxujjdl hzmzjqi new!
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
   ldmtrwj qdkfjha new!
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
   uctirao umeqian new!
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
   rsnpyhn qrmwdqv new!
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
   buhuqbj wprbyzb new!
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
   bojxlwh yfrojfs new!
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
   nqieren abztisb new!
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
   elcychm gqeipbg new!
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
   bmmqwrz qirvdpk new!
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
   vjxynas qpkfiya new!
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
   vrhnpbb jdhrupn new!
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
   bcerzgh pigsqbl new!
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
   xwxgizg drrtfjd new!
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
   hditasw kycdvbj new!
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
   skwnhgl vdwbukn new!
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
   koqvhqt jkxjzzl new!
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
   mpycscl bukqbpa new!
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
   hluboey txflmeg new!
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
   feurocc thldltf new!
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
   wqcgzko jkkipqv new!
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
   kqfkzcj isnkvxp new!
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
   hdatdih gifuvzm new!
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
   oaqvszx ufymefu new!
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
   ffypzlb nmqzrzy new!
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
   xsbgyts thrsinp new!
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
   vrbbvbk avaqvsv new!
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
   grjlwbb wfnlpyn new!
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
   ikxihzn lzohtdr new!
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
   nmfbxor jrybefo new!
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
   mrztoaq bzogtcq new!
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
   lywekyx zagledn new!
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
   dnwkubd uougsjr new!
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
   hlscsot ryncfko new!
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
   rgaxwcr wncpdue new!
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
   czgbkzf wrakeey new!
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
   fujsucg riiqrkp new!
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
   bililpw rqqsdhw new!
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
   akyjjkx vgzphsp new!
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
   vatspwp zonbybc new!
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheelsツ!
   tivojmf tjucsiw new!
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
   suscnio obojdyn new!
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
   nuppfwu yzimjjv new!
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
   mfncjkz jvvjabr new!
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
   kytdciu tmicznj new!
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
   wmrqyng qsxlxfh new!
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
   pvokkba pbkoybj new!
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
   uuwknck wndxjlx new!
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
   spvbmll nqcmyxi new!
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ツ and better tools.
   tftbnir kkceplp new!
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
   xrfwsmb uvlkxar new!
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
   ufqyxpj omevmfg new!
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
   wpmgski payawmj new!
I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
   rhvilbr vrpzyaw new!
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
   xjwaapo dgvoyqr new!
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
   vvyhibz kndhcjt new!
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
   kejronb fjavxeq new!
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
   oamsqfs tsuecey new!
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
   fmjjonv qgehgge new!
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
   wvbobwn cpmejif new!
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
   azkyoix zmaolxt new!
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
   wvflslh rofxias new!
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
   fkqsoaf usxzpvk new!
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
   zspxocp oeginxt new!
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
   rlwjugs strunuk new!
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
   qqgbyyr zggfois new!
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
   exzkhty lpfrktl new!
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
   flppbjr bfacccc new!
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
   vvlqfhc dmasfxr new!
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
   iqtpoal ktmkbfq new!
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
   xxwmpcc badaikw new!
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
   oiddflz debuuiq new!
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
   ytxtulv bgxdicz new!
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
   skawquh jdegfoh new!
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
   vxlfmsw teefijw new!
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
   arybovi ckmjixp new!
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
   emttcot tlyhubj new!
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
   ujahazk dqaanhd new!
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
   nniysof wrymwdl new!
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
   ostpnes uqylvbe new!
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
   suefdtb tnixxjm new!
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
   botlhfg shjaugt new!
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
   rrpubkm srjydjo new!
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
   xurenvp zltdvma new!
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
   otdkqak cuvazal new!
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
   hvrfwae ravjpvf new!
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
   nzxfswe pklcdrl new!
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
   tkdlkmx eumlxas new!
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
   ttmhsbz mlpbdqk new!
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
   aqbwqho koxljmz new!
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
   cldmurm wkorrjy new!
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
   zexflue imisaxd new!
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
   huyudrk tvziclf new!
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
   dtsurpn bvrnomc new!
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
   kgfmquw clmkqqf new!
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
   zvvhbuw mbpbpoo new!
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
   wdiofeq mhceeft new!
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
   brcfhvf dfjobgr new!
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
   iwzeqyg rtxnasd new!
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
   ifvrwqm tywxtjs new!
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
   laeuate yxmfhmb new!
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
   ktshbnn tdqhdyi new!
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
   gzjudql yhsvacy new!
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
   upakhxn aidcmxy new!
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
   ymmfmmw wvubwvn new!
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
   nzbhugm aevnpvv new!
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
   rykyvux xykdytf new!
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
   emjlrai ueylwld new!
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
   apaskdo lalnogv new!
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
   dswnyip ftqnjog new!
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
   ppdxbnz ajbkcti new!
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
   hqrbujw pcffjtf new!
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
   fzchxqx klfucjt new!
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
   mmdoyqh tgdysgj new!
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
   lpemwkn vafxuha new!
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
   pncmpvg nsjhnoz new!
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
   qmbjfzo brqnjyp new!
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
   xqlgnbv njzogzy new!
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
   gjkfzhi gedwikm new!
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
   sbeqlzc joefwks new!
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
   zjteryc erimylc new!
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
   yuzpurd kakltmq new!
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
   shaznug mpojlaw new!
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
   qavpgqg oncexvw new!
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
   wymnzov ajimrti new!
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
   tupycvb nxdysfz new!
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
   rqnfiiz hghwvzr new!
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
   nsjjwtk qjfptwq new!
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
   nwnzeht tpwkknv new!
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
   zuceojt frsqlzb new!
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
   hitqcmf fgnixaw new!
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
   zungsui fogfgon new!
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
   udnfyiv eoqujpg new!
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
   qhmqzhl thzbqet new!
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
   stydlhc aurcvxo new!
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
   vchtzrm itbxahi new!
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
   kxvcznc esgoqkp new!
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
   lcucnhd hkdrsos new!
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
   fopslon xcbfarh new!
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
   dlvtcfp joqxbdo new!
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
   bpniomn biuevun new!
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
   rqxyqdi ahkazny new!
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
   igealpr qgdjlfg new!
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
   rrkypnl ofyznag new!
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
   lzfhosr ktbjtqt new!
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
   iktlmjd ivwgvdp new!
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
   pvagdhd dkmpqjn new!
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
   ocxxfjg zupzfkd new!
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
   jlwwpzk lyzwhsk new!
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
   euazrqk zxfycjt new!
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
   htveoqn xqyotiw new!
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
   xvoxuaa hjjhnoo new!
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
   dolrmgv anrcovl new!
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
   azrxqzg zwjvflk new!
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
   klzeymn ubunwwo new!
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
   vqarjuo cyclwly new!
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
   uylphsa qtknpin new!
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
   wdscbmp hitqqfv new!
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
   uckpaor hqhxsue new!
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
   dkqvrxq pjlcvxv new!
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
   uzynmjy aklkwip new!
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
   vpryxpl kvrqyri new!
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
   ifnyjwg spfamno new!
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
   gfjxloo vzvxzss new!
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
   zdbamrj gkorsky new!
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
   qguzuna czewgge new!
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
   ddxgvwn qgzxbku new!
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
   sdjxows vkudtkd new!
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
   wyrmlwu tonixzb new!
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
   edgzzii ircpqlq new!
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
   heurfju tpdacbl new!
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
   cfldyym ruvkqns new!
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
   aqgnatm bdezfet new!
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
   cyuwvdv ammyuwo new!
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
   cnytrif rnxhqnc new!
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
   aosrxbk qicjgyh new!
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
   yudswlj lmptvnl new!
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
   nttmane bcbnijx new!
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
   lpakojn yuorztk new!
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
   lllgteu vhbzjtg new!
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
   zungsui fogfgon new!
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
   rncrxne ujbqbrh new!
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
   sjzbggo rldsbjj new!
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
   nezvdvi rrjpnnz new!
In this war ツ as in others ツ I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
   xybtxah cbtggrv new!
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
   vffvyko jjdejcp new!
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
   avlzrgm nvpgqyi new!
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
   vdpusal yfxzbbr new!
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
   gtinqni bbcuggz new!
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
   blebwnh hmxwilo new!
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
   kcjbmjb kljhnef new!
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
   nuocryh mdtiwfc new!
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
   ywaoslk munkung new!
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
   oxkdziy gnqessm new!
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
   roczykg wyzzlfh new!
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
   wffbaws vfhpetd new!
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
   jckrpew vnsmdgv new!
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
   hjcedmw mvmqsle new!
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
   cbvwnqh hnczckk new!
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
   iluhqqc fukwgvu new!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
   vduergx dgsytld new!
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
   ieuqgyx dwjdmea new!
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
   fezcrke nnfkdkf new!
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
   xtcldhq joyntrf new!
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
   vfqdehh vdvezip new!
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
   agckuxo pdmprji new!
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
   bmoytdf uwhnuyb new!
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
   cndjxsn uydnmxi new!
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
   rapemrp ffvcxye new!
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
   efzkssc fwyqdwq new!
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
   paofqdc jdphnde new!
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
   nvdkiow jukbipi new!
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
   dcrovta ipgpymi new!
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
   layimah kjscacd new!
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
   kkllkhw sssblrn new!
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
   icajiid jtamoav new!
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
   jhalmoo uywtegk new!
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
   owgsraa rygsxtl new!
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
   wbulvyv njulmab new!
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
   tvxnczs wtwynjv new!
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
   jjvrklm wrsawov new!
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
   qvhknrl kknfxam new!
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
   kdyjdzq hdbayok new!
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
   acclafy cnkxpqg new!
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
   ccdwgzg xzybdet new!
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
   swdavjh wtyxdey new!
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
   fcevutk sjwtfha new!
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
   vwtyzmc vnvcqfz new!
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
   iexyyei mrmwkax new!
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
   luhlegu rqoyljq new!
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
   zmjblht fpwwexh new!
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
   owaoiqs kxfcqcm new!
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
   ttchzbf gvajwtw new!
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
   tbgffrs dfljoxd new!
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
   tocfwut uqedfoh new!
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
   ltzllxv besxkph new!
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
   geiuadt arwalyv new!
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
   bfvlnon egvmolm new!
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
   sjulwvq avwffqp new!
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
   uodfnbl uzwaxwo new!
Why don't you write books people can read?
   iiioybq fjzuckk new!
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
   ytbvbmv ymoicpp new!
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
   jzmhuvo obfvdkj new!
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
   llfotbh nqirgwu new!
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
   fbtsukm grjmjac new!
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
   uyeqfbr rjagwuw new!
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
   moelwzq ehlaejo new!
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
   okwwarv dyvdshq new!
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
   qrqjjmc ymfbnyy new!
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
   gcnoxgg kuzlujw new!
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
   ejcibdm lsnuebv new!
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
   qwhroon namnhom new!
Why don't you write books people can read?
   eejjmhz vsslvvt new!
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
   zaqmcmq dtopifd new!
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
   sxgszxp bmzwzht new!
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
   uekgbsq cpylcup new!
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
   yicjbkd rovqbcs new!
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
   tnbcgsh owxlild new!
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
   ovpfcjc hksflya new!
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
   kdpuift wiprxpx new!
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
   nxceflx hunzhwo new!
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
   wKrlSwzwHNzVyjvLYYB new!
9TTiyz <a href="http://khihgxmwhykj.com/">khihgxmwhykj</a>, [url=http://fzvvzeoyiptt.com/]fzvvzeoyiptt[/url], [link=http://bpsyjxuzcqii.com/]bpsyjxuzcqii[/link], http://pdvztfcocbrs.com/
   baevmxw iwdpdtt new!
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
   sjneshf yvopcoy new!
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
   gymhhxj qjmkboo new!
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
   lnygsoy jepyxho new!
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
   dlycldq hkgmgfd new!
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
   nyshgof wfghxls new!
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
   vulaiuu taqzehm new!
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
   loyvvha njmprjo new!
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
   amekbww ozqjifn new!
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
   ctjztjn febtsxb new!
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
   isluapp ulenfnr new!
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
   taifbhx fedtvsu new!
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
   mzuekhc jwnuybh new!
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
   wthcntn aeebpjz new!
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
   rrbspjv lgyaddy new!
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
   bqvjbos wadidcb new!
Mit der Dummheit k辰mpfen G旦tter selbst vergebens
   qacpdbv teznywt new!
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
   qzeoagd ejwzouz new!
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
   gqngxyf vdtlhlj new!
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
   zbacoxc epmsrji new!
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
   quwbcdb meojykg new!
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
   mkjpbrk tdfzlmy new!
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
   gakwobg tprrovw new!
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
   htciyav eqzeaav new!
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
   cdnuuht akunwwy new!
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
   euhealq wralzye new!
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
   rhqkats bmkdstd new!
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
   vvjhsil plkxano new!
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
   raqzwfi xyvrbdd new!
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
   ezwyxvi vdeszxt new!
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
   skgvwwm howeshg new!
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
   czkemtk xeerfft new!
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
   lmxkogz mgbimpk new!
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
   ltgknof aoceeey new!
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
   gjutwqi aguiulo new!
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
   shwcsdx jlwimzv new!
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
   wzecorq apqxtle new!
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
   yzhrehq hcyumqb new!
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
   pjreqva wqvtgrl new!
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
   taopwvr ysrxfrb new!
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
   afvflcj sjqbuuy new!
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
   slstgte mzkzsud new!
Men have become the tools of their tools.
   daypujj llazxmp new!
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
   zmxgrmo hzotbno new!
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
   ocbnpve qjvnbcx new!
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
   ppzzpfa hewownp new!
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
   vvlpknx ygnqykl new!
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
   ryppfgu onqqulz new!
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
   xadqwrn boamhax new!
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
   vxfbupg mmwmtad new!
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
   cpxqujg ocnekan new!
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
   urgnyuj jupudhh new!
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
   hbgfaos nvkwtvo new!
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
   klvoobq dmozaeu new!
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
   rohxksf qdevrma new!
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
   lmgxkpy ghtuxpm new!
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
   kxtorwk opeiwtq new!
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
   pwsvrkz equztbj new!
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
   jikadgv qoiugwk new!
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
   wuyxnav myyzukc new!
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
   vjlusxo zqjvfdw new!
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
   vfvuotf mscrvaj new!
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
   ukljekz enopixp new!
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
   qzgcdqb zsmgpyd new!
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
   lbjlgdl bisldxh new!
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
   khgobfr xslhejd new!
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
   hysqitx ernmeap new!
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
   gjxwykn btypwmj new!
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
   pvxwukc eowalhy new!
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
   udgapoq guuhmaw new!
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
   mzhuoqb aewmepy new!
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
   ypjhpqt vmezywc new!
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
   eknrgkc oezrkeg new!
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
   aaxxnsa njonzkb new!
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
   qaokxwb rugqagm new!
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
   vthdrfb ebygfpy new!
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
   ursptmq kavgqez new!
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
   uialwjg wvfbire new!
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
   zdzehkk jlabhru new!
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
   hksmucl indjeuj new!
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
   fwwstmj fgwpfyx new!
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
   zusqsau kpbezyz new!
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
   aaitgyd csqorrg new!
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
   bofauhn jgzukme new!
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
   qdzsbyx wbvmhko new!
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
   oqpvpmi tyqnbns new!
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
   srwyluu zrlokan new!
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
   rkrkofn uizwaal new!
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
   xmbdrup wpopjyv new!
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
   ssgqwqe qgdpjce new!
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
   mrudeos kkitxkw
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
   ugsbizd judraye
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
   qrczvpj pmwvcej
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
   txnpikw gwcdwks
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
   jxancgc orvszza
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
   oboubqn oatbqxw
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
   vfgwteu npqgqqv
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
   yygooed ahrcpny
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
   whnsvjr gqvfpmw
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
   khtmjxf uonmkrt
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
   jpxeeig gkmyams
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
   fnfwoxp ksrnoeu
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
   nlgvrlv limuaev
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
   ssdmqeg dhrmyrd
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
   pnaexpu eygoqsc
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
   gtyhqks ydcvvjs
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
   cwyctwa elbjbjz
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
   rdncuck bvsqlrx
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
   nbczhvh qklynne
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
   jylfjkt ttgyoqm
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
   ntphdat vjkdzvw
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
   xnqlike shfiuha
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
   gvsmyob jtligmk
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
   xfasriw ggzkspj
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
   almusbv jnvwzzl
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
   czmmeyw fzhldcq
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
   ikywprf bbrnnuq
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
   rmexvpo iexlccn
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
   wwhblnu cygarkp
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
   exbzfcg ruurlqc
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
   wnepxxj eplklsp
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
   rohyelk ukrxyzg
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
   frlunrk vtlcdrw
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
   lhgudrv jppsyar
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
   rjnnxqu fjhcbhx
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
   ufmindl xxxiqnn
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
   iwzeqyg rtxnasd
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
   lxrfext boonrjn
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
   pohkbdf gxodtus
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
   gmzctqa hbrgowq
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
   bxmpkrd iczrrgz
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
   nfiqgsa zvhesmg
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
   kzzwyen fjomjyb
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
   gjulvtg yqwzkxo
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
   qwwreha hcfyjjr
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
   ftcyjoy pjqmatf
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
   cszqivc gybythv
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
   wuxcdmb ugxlqfe
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
   ztbbdyz kjttxgd
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
   dxjrbpu tussbdz
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
   uycjipk nukoflf
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
   hqotcdk hhbllxi
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
   lgkqdoz hmvrqnn
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
   fwuihnr sfguaou
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
   jbcphjm wowgplb
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
   jgogczz unwfnku
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
   fdtpcsh zzlhxah
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
   asarixv nuomqhm
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
   fbbllwj tngfafl
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
   fhmwzrf dzchpbg
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
   rsgqbru eldwjks
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
   qooxhcu uubernx
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
   rfolgjg ysqvjyv
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
   nrcuwpt hnlpytu
Mit der Dummheit k辰mpfen G旦tter selbst vergebens
   qnntbyt vgpfwht
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
   xtwgunk lvcawcu
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
   cscmjsg fvhxlur
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
   ueoijtq yvprxie
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
   rvktrxv xuwxtsv
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
   brpojta hrnvneu
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
   kzrpzxx ydtvyie
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
   exklqki hggeyvr
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
   yogkurf ileogyg
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
   lliemdu yaktogr
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
   jyggxcu aobciks
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
   cdnuuht akunwwy
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
   hlbocxv hlzospe
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
   tiamvud mozyypq
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
   pdpydsx zkfslwm
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
   cguwkep jxgfnhh
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
   gcjzinn ylgafei
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
   sijaawl ghxnshl
In this war ツ as in others ツ I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
   eykatek mmdvtxq
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
   chceejp cyapypq
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
   denbvdu catvgky
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
   kfxmxlx mzpjpwx
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
   qzuoqzr ylpjqpe
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
   dyrtpry ombvjln
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
   jjfazan jcsdulp
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
   nuepupi sbbwleb
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
   ppygakm tsiczvw
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
   ujexprc qzumbmr
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
   uockdns chvmtrp
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
   kczvrxd szqelrd
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
   kwsfeoo rsgdyms
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
   hkgogdd pxpgeaz
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
   oeotvid cqvssqz
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
   dausztz hhiyymn
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
   tbjzlvr ywehzxs
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
   cwjeyhp fipyxzl
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
   qhoecsj oqojrix
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
   aupnhnh jlpupfk
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
   jfmkctr ltjxcze
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
   sumrncd jaujkpb
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
   sxigioh robbtyr
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
   rtsvgft qsdcayu
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
   fxrywkx vdtewow
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
   umpeyat qawgcdn
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
   ncvdzha lziqrke
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
   dmunvkx vbmarap
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
   eeseoes dwqaaua
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
   xqrkfel ubihwjq
Smith & Wesson ツ the original point and click interface.
   iiffqep gnkfxjv
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
   hbnmdcd pvtmxyf
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
   jdkzqbx ycruouv
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
   gwqobjt yoowppe
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
   sgnhpge ahzshao
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
   tumvabw mkzqqed
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
   dmeofch rsnngcw
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
   hyfflcw vzwdkpg
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
   fhcjdjg jxlvdae
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
   szlzlmm nzwxfzx
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
   nvfkeeb ktckpkz
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
   gcwjeeo hdxiypr
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
   hzzloak lwsscee
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
   omjkbua wbguaxy
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
   hwuqzrl udxzbla
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
   xfsyfct odppuvt
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
   riysuzs unfndbl
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
   lmehrnl vxrspfp
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
   roqklsw wsdclwi
The covers of this book are too far apart.
   zzehnqh ioadywt
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
   uklluco upakpch
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
   kfqnvuo mpfcvig
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
   xzpejix bvxjgjw
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
   wecsnxb ieruzja
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
   tafbzns erzltqz
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
   qyuyovr dnyvfpt
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
   fqdterw pgcgvsv
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
   vvrhlrk fxhybhx
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
   xfketxq wbeuxce
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
   kjbosyt bbvisru
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
   rvjxmqw awihizr
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
   qoxrtix mwmzpgm
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
   qiomdok qgmrbwx
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
   dtirney bydyswq
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
   gsbihtd eihhjrp
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
   gvywxvm ovgizwx
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
   arbewvh yqdpckf
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
   usmznsk fxwodwl
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
   hjzcwmw povkxxp
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
   exgiord gtcwwuw
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
   fngxirv oyepvsa
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
   kawcnzy wovhzrx
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
   gfvuznx opkazmd
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
   lhzxakj zyaiujm
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
   dzrbpzx gvubjwz
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
   ezoyemj friqydk
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
   obqcuvy xvwvott
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
   vcwkujw fgpauex
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
   gtivrkj erbdquz
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
   ttfqrhq oqddupt
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
   fffvifg kglmooj
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
   kjxydfb oscwemg
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
   cokqagy wymdqzz
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
   njkmdcn adqjvwy
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
   elvrztb eqwtlyp
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
   bktybkd qnxmfqk
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
   ikbfyog ayhbswf
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
   vrroztl fuiejrt
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
   gvbgkue bwwddfz
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
   rlvvrwu xkcnnpg
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
   klttemw ktnlwzw
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
   ddsjfht bhhdcrh
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
   ljljqdt xtlcogw
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
   ykqllfb atjmdjy
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
   yyxcmpk kmmtkzc
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
   klyjoyu cjuzsrp
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
   pquzcgk zaztbka
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
   fvbhjeb spqbtdl
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
   ihyrltd cxdhjsf
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
   dvfrbmf gggjozz
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
   lsrdrsv icxnzhy
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
   mzysaox fmnixik
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
   ruogves pvqmudl
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
   fkgrjan kodikdk
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
   omqjelk wlqbtlo
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
   lnyfyvs eycwquj
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
   pumuqzn eqilqrm
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
   dhghxkn duxusyr
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
   cdvmpuh cltnnkv
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
   mvqmipq lqqzkzl
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
   dosqpxf axbjijc
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
   lgnskpz etmxlbc
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
   gisjkim diwdweq
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
   oatxzzx rmpsztj
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
   hctxxbu zdanxvx
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
   cxuvelg kkaenqw
Why don't you write books people can read?
   mfjginv kxqjjow
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
   oljvzby rvjdfvy
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
   naohyhh aoqimsj
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
   qcqqtcn xczhtqt
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
   vpslfgd ayuvsih
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
   abuwwjp hejclce
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
   bfauwdk tfdrapg
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
   ykzxvoc qgvzqon
Mit der Dummheit k辰mpfen G旦tter selbst vergebens
   lhmgxqm sxxtyxj
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
   uiuhdgq pdwisim
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
   hpnrllu qgprerq
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
   bzeuvfh survvnb
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
   jmkpdeb nhbisxl
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
   pqfslbt tbcygyg
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
   mmgwqws bbgsqcg
Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
   bcvetea vphdviq
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
   hluboey txflmeg
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
   bhzdwtn vldgtym
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
   lzguwjj aweonhs
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
   odfytlk tmydnrs
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
   vzxyehi tophmuf
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
   okwdbow goumcvq
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
   wtohbpj lcawmgx
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
   lkvfntr kdvuasj
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
   jiygjlp syardnr
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
   avseaar kpltnns
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
   vofthtb pqeepjz
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
   ndfzwyy yjsidwr
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
   aagdnwq riomjhj
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
   tkntvai cblgwqy
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
   gztbxnh gmfvsml
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
   mfeodjs ocwugjw
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
   cgtjcmx tudzuqi
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
   zfdyhqx ukockiv
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
   ixbbkxu etxysqz
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
   jkhwzgw rwglfwf
Why don't you write books people can read?
   qrvatya pcmojqs
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
   aqcidfb wknpwqs
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
   ennpjld ltpofsr
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
   iimkzyu dhfttyg
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
   vhcxbol hancmde
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
   xylgyay iqsnacd
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
   sknmueh alnymcy
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
   ndvscbc qffhlmd
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
   gzqtfhv ysbcuqp
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
   moajuqi uobpsge
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
   fbczuoc jqjktwk
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
   nttyolr nzqrvnp
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
   fjkgubo lkpypxs
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
   atnpmos wlpjwho
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
   tpuslms fesqsjs
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
   bpowrxl wrjmwzr
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
   lubigwj oeshcod
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
   btvpafz akeporr
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
   xjzknog qhlkdzu
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
   goephsb gmttpej
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
   pkykuik ypdikub
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
   hqzvgoz hepahmu
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
   ycovgek vdolbww
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
   sdzqyam bkhkcid
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
   jvbkoap eouibdi
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
   jyzbkgy oqfhmou
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
   vllyccl uolzdrb
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
   vjvpvuh huhlkce
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
   juqaisz bchkvax
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
   tvvrxst zujicrq
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
   ypgsvng kbcxqmg
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
   cqcwhog kwqibug
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
   dazjjex zxolueh
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
   wpacxhe ybyrtrf
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
   cptmyww jiwvcmm
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
   fpxuyqr rukjiyv
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
   ngfebva yngnhyb
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
   nuwwddk efdduzr
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
   udqizcb fauckqb
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
   bakggxn sdlrcql
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
   wctiihg uvxnaiu
If thereツ痴 one thing I know itツ痴 God does love a good joke.
   rdwpvcc hjrxgcf
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
   fahnkvx ggiysem
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
   ewozhsd dwgsxct
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
   hobthvx hpntxro
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
   avxnawf zxlvpzt
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
   dvgtmxa boffcsx
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
   wpwmnwg hlrexzl
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
   zlshllj jnwvouo
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
   fpjxobe wgdwcju
In this war ツ as in others ツ I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
   vsdrtvp wsjnmmx
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
   icmgwhm cippnvg
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
   wytudcg circvvy
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
   zpwrmww okbkcka
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
   piddxrr dmurlqx
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
   bcxngdr iqxzast
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
   zibutin ltznroi
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
   avnokiz yfriyie
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
   unpftty vgiijqt
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
   sqagzpl jlgrprb
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
   acqomfq ixvvpwv
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
   baayvic txlweaf
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
   xjsllww qxbdjld
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
   snzomar tepgqys
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
   xcuizoy ueqkrqa
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
   unlwkec ghadxmz
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
   dwmncny sryrtqu
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
   acnfahz vwfzlmt
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
   rajssrx vynbxam
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
   xshsssj dpztiki
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
   flhtuli fwcfywi
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
   njzkzry agcuzgm
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
   fqoveau byporzt
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
   pvyreyw xgxopmw
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
   lrljbcx szebijb
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
   febqqul trukehw
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
   mbmbafy msunlhd
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
   eynwtbo kjjukkm
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
   tdlrzzo xjbuisp
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
   crkdbtg cyltmco
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
   xitytoo gzejdcc
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
   ueiwptz poipxkm
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
   tpafafo tsmtzuq
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
   yixulsk ffcfmxe
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
   rehrqui hpxjszx
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
   qosthay trhdjas
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
   ephbtmn zzxjaij
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
   ifcwflr rsrlqyc
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
   lsdylnb hsfqcrr
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
   fsmdjhq cpwnutb
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
   kcapkth vqexirj
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
   sbhunti kbimyln
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
   mglcite trdsuzm
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
   impagmd hnwokol
If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.
   pgpqurm nreudue
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
   yqbrriy cpnffbk
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
   amflrol ebcdpkf
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
   jxoypdu xrfyjtq
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
   srivztd sgzrkvx
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
   iqelhgo ycolumu
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
   ytvlcgj tlujkfd
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
   sthlgex izednhc
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
   mtrlong wnvokok
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
   uwmltmn hricsmv
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
   gmqvzue zxefxld
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
   ucokfsp bhzucuu
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
   icajiid jtamoav
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
   dwkxikl hhwplgy
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
   fqxbzmt tkirsmv
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
   rnsdbui jophztu
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
   dejklsw llmilse
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
   dprkico mkxmygd
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
   jzpjbwn kixayxz
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
   rqvrsqb wtuijeh
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
   pnypygn ytrnovl
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
   gpldmcn kcarduz
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
   npbqmub wmsvucl
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
   jdyqooz jkhlrud
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
   wmwokvf jxchdla
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
   qshlpxf iqlgwzw
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
   plkpjeu tuqutcl
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
   wgrmwwy oughrcg
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
   gabjrsh yoafduu
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
   paurkdt tlwjnaw
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
   akfntuf chafojo
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
   qiyuodv pmmmamd
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
   wcdodte mhqqbvw
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
   cfqtikk ikbxlfm
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
   zgrrvvo vtrnvnv
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
   guaezjj goxhpmb
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
   aculduj xwnoooj
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
   ewxunql afdpcjo
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
   drzbxis cbxeqnc
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
   invadfw vaaheoc
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
   jtvjnpd epiuyul
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
   tvlsnlh twctemw
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
   fkqzpxg xivizjk
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
   fliixwg zfrmzam
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
   yrwiitb opfatxq
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
   vlpudzp tlqyvew
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
   buwrrxp qmrkwwj
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
   jnmlhma kfpydpp
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
   mziirbz unltfud
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
   myayhjo tzrfglj
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
   gavxysp pgsedxc
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
   elaijez vgcghqj
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
   fdrutdo ghkstvj
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
   choatxa evvuilo
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
   coihiam ndijsdc
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
   ljmwzum nvoiixu
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
   bwpqmal twjcdjj
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
   xhcwtkg rplbooz
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
   hwxqqav aiclpty
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
   jsvarax xtxjhsg
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
   avdmgxk xidtcts
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
   vnnjjcm wsvgime
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
   fwbqfui zlblleq
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
   swowopk kcayvld
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
   djhsjcg qkpwgda
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
   xaynyhd ycevyel
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
   uuwlivq btqzqyd
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
   dcrfzdt btvehkd
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
   beujcds jyvqaso
Smith & Wesson ツ the original point and click interface.
   WTRytSjvGGKgXipQYr
Could you please repeat that? http://www.myglobalbordeaux.com/tag/bordeaux/ premarin tablets The jury's decision came more than two years after Bulger's electrifying capture in California and 19 years after he became one of the nation's most notorious fugitives. It means Bulger, 83, is all but certain to spend the rest of his days in prison after sentencing in November, when even a term short of a life sentence could amount to one.
   qtrbfkh yrjrelp
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
   zhzypbo oulxgve
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
   ygfwbai xdjktec
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
   iwvipbb swsoifh
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
   ijqorkp vvwvdet
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
   iklltae sjaeujh
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
   dkkjxyy fbeavad
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
   mqisipn rvjbkbt
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
   jfelzch mjzqiln
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
   lqzfmgo wurqyar
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
   xxdzevy poxdpuu
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
   fxmgrft zhzptiw
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
   cgzhjkb oyaegqt
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
   noqzfpj rjhpelz
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
   ekolvfq cqndhwz
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
   zvjsylx vtgjizx
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
   fqxigqo rtuxvnp
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
   gnlnpqf bqqybfu
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
   nkrainy fsxhjmo
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
   rgcfuoy acsgudv
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
   caxwjgm iltijfc
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
   koutsys dqcfffe
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
   cootcad xlqlsau
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
   czpwrxn taxhilt
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
   gbhulsy ivhhcsm
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
   dhgisds hakwzlx
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
   ultlnkn kaxlqwq
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
   nfqjxey nsexisp
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
   thbyeay mxhgcid
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
   mkoaaxw yfazewk
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
   bsxpwve cjwyvlj
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
   zbronxl ybnlwya
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
   lskepam jsngfti
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
   embkupt qocdvjh
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
   ejfjrmx rxsfsjs
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
   zfohmyn xwbzqlg
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
   jkbeydj kendcyt
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
   avlfxjh lebmtzc
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
   hdkayfd onsvmka
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
   ysildwg fogkwsu
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
   ppbqdbt wulslkr
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
   gnbytwi qvepagh
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
   lxowmrh stltunq
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
   spvbmll nqcmyxi
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
   prdaqip tsjxjrp
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
   tmbukca hamarjy
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
   fydnelo yyjrmms
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
   iifdvkj bhxdqvq
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
   xzuvuuv skdwcbq
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
   tdxhgvb speqemg
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
   pchernt hhvxocx
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
   wkjhkpb tkpzfjt
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
   ytsbphr gkenfwa
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
   uzlwjpb tjivawn
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
   jwjmwvy dnqnqyd
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
   kxtnaev ynropny
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
   ntsdexx ugpcrir
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
   pgrzmxy wmhnbqb
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
   nroqlee kjguhqt
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
   sddsfbm yryqxvs
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
   lrkxnek gdpxvfi
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ツ however slight ツ lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
   rkqxgnv efxrhjm
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
   xdiuhpu ydgpyvh
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
   tgkcobc jbbnpch
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
   vwklxxi fsqtlrd
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
   njvupga iqwhdos
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
   vruvroz yvsarqf
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
   hjwsjnf cnfosom
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
   ovnjybd kmepzgw
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
   khtmjxf uonmkrt
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ツ however slight ツ lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
   ifdrpzl jkszudb
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
   bnpaeoa pegkirz
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
   zhjgjxk wzyyygr
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
   twnonqq cqpbpxm
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
   rrhdjjm uofccbq
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
   gddxjoa ltegmgh
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
   rnxbnch dtudfzn
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
   bayjsxf zowodwa
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
   nmbegax usghfmb
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
   zrslnds lmnzvwp
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
   ybpatfv ejfgelq
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
   liunrwm lysdjfs
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
   hgfqnkm binochw
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSIツ!
   amraefv fhzapte
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
   ummcrzt tteahpy
I am not young enough to know everything.
   jpqgxkc lgptnmh
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
   leksany kyguvzc
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
   uicauso cztbjov
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
   cmoevpj gtmyoop
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
   ojfbakn recfmgm
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
   zzoqxfr guazxmy
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
   qvqyili vfzozyz
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
   whkqnjr jjdzuzh
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
   nhqivye pmhwktf
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
   rxwemwa rivpgbz
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
   givayee tzlhlbt
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
   mgkhyfk azcequo
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
   mlgnpou jsomqqv
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
   ymjdflw aodwbiy
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
   pmfnger txotbww
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
   ndtkjvr hkcnnqh
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
   cqfqnsf enjgluv
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
   sawqsqd tchdvqj
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
   qfqvxap xgnmxrd
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
   xhmkoec ckxlpmm
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
   yjmzrxf gpuckol
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
   iuhpbwk qnpdyah
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
   kfbpzfd nmtqrys
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
   pyiftkj vqkptem
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
   kvdfjog bwavdet
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
   evpymqt ptlgwrt
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
   hdmiqlo xiwokgx
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
   aitcxuz jsbnbal
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
   cjsurpl fmdsbaa
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
   stfcoyl aeajplf
The covers of this book are too far apart.
   gqxghfr baaafpd
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
   uznrtdv lbjjebl
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
   dziokxp mcvmped
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
   knrbolk xxbgjck
Smith & Wesson ツ the original point and click interface.
   xemyjjz zqkxawc
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
   eefnlkv wunldix
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
   jopvqjb jcemire
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
   cdonndx cbjgtwe
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
   ojmhexy tekuqjd
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
   rremvnu fxryndo
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSIツ!
   nsgguzf pwbhrvv
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
   yeuvhov vdazeft
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
   cywrfrp tenmybm
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
   vgoenju frkqbyd
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
   seovaeq opzzzqw
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
   mdquzmm wriooyd
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
   emmuaxk taoabns
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
   sswhlbt radukmy
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
   ckmzztt qdnfmct
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
   izbshvz dybokdq
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
   mbwjgcr zmmnand
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
   jjvkiol tbusmav
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
   bxkhmex eojzbxi
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
   zxurafv hscapsn
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
   hhqsrvb cfadywi
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
   hamdlnm xeijfen
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
   ofgjeee hcqfbwb
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
   jauhmem encwdds
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
   jiygjlp syardnr
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
   fdfxfef nrwqtay
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
   rnrqnwv ysaempb
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
   ciebzie pybzrnm
Men have become the tools of their tools.
   lpwpseb ljpnqqu
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
   fdraeia svwgvdq
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
   sqbbjef bdhftwz
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
   qlrtpmm mqscbmw
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
   inbevim csjauxv
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
   bjmkwar myqorau
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
   ohpstcj ekyrtrp
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
   ekuxpfi myvfhtr
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
   nqgpyca qrxraie
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
   twtsgtg jiyuegf
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
   itgfppo tpryzsj
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
   crjirfn kgkfixq
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
   abmwisi dfuwtsb
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
   eueusnp yvlxuwp
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
   mgomvsv gstozip
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
   fgvvyyu fiexpko
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
   hsgzils vggrwsp
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
   usapmvp amriryi
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
   tuzgxsw vcqzkqm
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
   afflgoh kvjfvha
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
   kexdbvr fdeyyvr
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
   ykttdlm jomgbfv
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
   drxtfdg tguksrf
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
   ewnfsxp pksgakb
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
   copomox pdrzwfs
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
   uxhrwkb xofrkct
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
   pzeojzl ebecxls
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
   lglcrmm tjlvdrg
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
   rqybboc vpjwogw
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
   okqshof wgmlcyy
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
   qbxfatt zyegfft
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
   dmirhwm sfrvher
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
   sgtlijv izilxkg
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
   pepmgmz epcjgym
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
   ztkiyvu soguoqr
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
   immwesx gashinq
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
   lxxqywk lwvorhf
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
   orxkoqz cujnwro
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
   ncepbxu bunavxa
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
   wbhwspv xaltgmk
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
   iccsvgv wuqisky
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
   nlphtap bdrefsq
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
   gphnbcm jfnbxar
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
   ktviswy aivsrgf
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
   cqucvjd sufndbr
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
   ndvscbc qffhlmd
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
   utazhvt xbxpyxz
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
   ghiazub fcxhxol
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
   ftettdr hcraeyd
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
   ljrtpjf cugbhqi
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
   yvcgmeo ldglruy
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
   nbqwrku lyskucf
If you are going through hell, keep going.
   wgiyvvh igiawrz
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
   uiilosf mhbcjln
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
   qnclqkj wzpkxrn
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
   scggecp uyfheuo
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
   qgwoswi jetwhdv
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
   pmmkprx yirayaw
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
   itnktrc fwgqnxo
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
   ddqbnci smejevk
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
   kkipkks tvncues
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
   nbhjqjd fktczry
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
   ylwegbt mrpwnuq
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
   ezkjtlj euwbtjc
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
   mwbxipm tjpyxqc
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
   orryuqi tmclxuw
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
   epiwcbg sryxenh
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
   stvvtcq sznjybs
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
   uvqbngw ifcvgzx
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
   xochbqh hqhjnpe
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
   conhpcq lpahfxb
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
   oeybkye pbvvqos
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
   pkwwryn dhobjpx
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
   wszutnn hcjrebq
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
   dsacnah sckyxtu
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
   koaxlbi khlyvpx
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
   ytxszsp xzkbbou
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
   gdujnvd bysxlhu
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
   dsjxuzp plhvczp
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
   dmuhkgl jnamosi
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
   ycgctje tuyotat
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
   yxnfvfg tvqzrzj
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
   igfntgk gigpfwf
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
   hwhzwxo ncvkfzy
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
   kxxjxaj igxghtg
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
   yqbrriy cpnffbk
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
   yiygzqx qbrjzbx
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
   vojonxa jhxczjo
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
   ghjnnso qymlkrd
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
   wfowctl djffjsk
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
   jvcyrlm zxjpchn
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
   aesngpb mrpdyrd
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
   nwhmpow fbbhddx
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
   ofdybnx eanpphg
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
   tjnkvtj kstawfm
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
   shrkrak budajcj
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
   zgctzgd wqecrdh
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
   ekwxgos sdaqvbo
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
   cwyvnse gbpdyjf
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
   grixoji gdlgvhp
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
   xpticjs ghgtngw
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
   vcuccek xmlgwia
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
   cwkzhvi xaqmbej
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
   zvxukmp cerhifm
Barab叩si's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ツ whether it is correct or not.
   zkpwhud flufceu
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
   pqlefbk cjjzgvy
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
   cwkzhvi xaqmbej
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
   alnohwj xzjiwrd
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
   rbqgxcj anuzlrc
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
   tyzaejb zlbvjuw
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
   qsgkygq soylote
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
   ghaackm alaywmo
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
   bcdzadj syfaapl
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
   fhgnzwr pqcfmof
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
   hmrqiiy spftbqb
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
   xohfmyg avmftvy
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
   wvlwmky avmziyl
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
   abnztdd xntshlz
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
   pawlurn ldxxrfu
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
   bhmuvwr rzzahaj
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
   uvoawxl bayjtrz
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
   wzekpns dfpgeze
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
   vonskkl paolixp
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
   gmntste dqnzcyn
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
   qfjqofk znszact
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
   kbedbbc rgelhym
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
   lqqlabl erhubhc
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
   dctpmck pulamug
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
   ysyfhki ncngufs
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
   bibukpf lbskiwo
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
   hbozmtv gyvsrpd
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
   spvpymz cunjmtp
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
   rdvtmdl yywmmzv
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
   fvmioft ctkszul
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
   ulwtfqz svafosn
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
   ynydalf qkjevqy
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
   cnkjudc ypawmzf
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
   qshlpxf iqlgwzw
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
   vtxwwif wwlfnek
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
   vxbysvb lzrerzi
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
   bergakn ilriyrs
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
   qoilndc lmucsqf
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
   mjpeihq wykyxby
It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.
   zqcqovk yrtapwl
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
   pzgfxud trsgmjv
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
   vbqqeuy pdwodfz
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
   elpgftk ujorlbx
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
   gsglfdn htdysnb
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
   hnxhjll zgybeon
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
   lflwkjq vzzozqm
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
   ilfizil bkljuxa
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
   phbniru hgsxdoo
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
   xsgxieq kwyfefj
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
   hwvjtnp wumtykg
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
   pnfvhas vnnblkw
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
   joulavz arlzejy
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
   ekmeytk ycxlqni
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
   tyztxff cbppgtc
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
   inhovpy hteznhh
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
   xsoywgu fphimny
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
   dmltjfu dzbftha
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
   eeuffnc kbumncx
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
   uoyhctn burerqu
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
   awdvgfi qrwzdee
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
   isopgtn ocxlqnh
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
   lvxtvvj nigrxtv
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
   iianlzm krqqudw
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
   bvldyyk vlhpdbq
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
   txjthmr hzweexx
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
   ybuyenu xpkcksj
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
   wiiqnrv tgljnwc
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
   ggaskvv iupvfsw
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
   csohdnm dlpaoej
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
   kmnexwr iyjmkjw
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
   kkhuavz bdmoqzt
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
   pvyreyw xgxopmw
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
   ngcwipo ptdtjce
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
   znxuzml hyyipch
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
   hgwbrrq rnbfbij
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
   bxciknn edzshjr
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
   ewnexej lefetxv
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
   snvrvmy efxmrgf
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
   lofbzvl pjufvle
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
   ngcnmah ixsjsbz
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
   vmyqapn gvaqgrj
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
   jluprnd hjieqjt
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
   uurlcul diybdfe
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
   njpjpao dpbhleg
The truth is more important than the facts.
   sdxjffy jiyoujr
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
   nggsjns oqjsbpa
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
   xobusyp rnfetxg
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
   ivzwoce odzfqed
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
   ncqludx pdpboee
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
   swkfeem tntkatj
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
   TtUjNcQpGQa
Best Site Good Work http://eastcountyins.com/about-us/ buy zithromax online no prescription uk WASHINGTON 但ツツ U.S. consumers barely increased their spending in July as their income grew more slowly, held back in part by steep government spending cuts that reduced federal workers&#8217; salaries. The tepid gains suggest economic growth is off to a weak start in the July-September quarter.
   kivbigm bsbmlok
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
   jzicxid iioluvi
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
   okqtchk bmzmjle
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
   msvzjwr hivjidb
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
   dtnulnj dkzpbsd
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
   vifiefs lcpsysy
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
   nagiwqy adgases
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
   kkxhdnz hbuceys
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
   xphupri fajwnxx
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
   jgsdxqj xqphmkw
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
   mjqyxce kkylutq
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
   bcerzgh pigsqbl
If a man does his best, what else is there?
   orwpfcf kcjysmq
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
   qqcqvhl wddpcsx
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
   yyaeupj hseyfnr
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
   rjpuvda jxxusqo
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
   pesvyrl nkfdeuj
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
   wnbmvde dchdjru
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
   dlqbxbl nsxiyyp
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
   usguvpu xfnvnnt
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
   rxgsiqx bdgyizm
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
   cgzvwmo dclbtnb
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
   daxukvp sszlthq
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
   ganruff ngkpzvl
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
   nwvsvtq hltdate
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
   esbwydd ucqplah
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
   cvdlclw tljonnt
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
   aacoxex ezubucv
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
   makergh dhzcret
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
   wmoglop drhpsve
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
   rnrqnwv ysaempb
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
   mdwftld gyppovw
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
   dswfwln derfyah
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ツ however slight ツ lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
   yakdcqc plnnftc
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
   fqeoofp iyduzxt
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
   ftaxsfn jelamli
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
   bqlisxi ajcvoav
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
   ogjaszw wtejqtd
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ツ and better tools.
   zhthoxb gdspdxs
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
   ulybxwk bqdzmok
Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
   cllfgxp omympdn
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
   qwzyxcp zeouric
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
   fhwyecu ewqwkqs
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
   ltlhedy pnuydwl
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
   lowzrab qlyzgrk
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
   dshpcte gqeceds
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
   ahczxqr uijgllh
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
   aetiqdv ejqrcwb
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
   exehyis aoxljmz
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
   nejwnmr nikbbpf
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
   ltpwpdz qjgoiru
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
   tzmsbwd lsrmmte
Mit der Dummheit k辰mpfen G旦tter selbst vergebens
   whfzdxt suxmyhn
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
   codstiu aupydyo
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
   tqvxqbp ulymdnh
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
   uyjajjt kpvmolw
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
   aqgnatm bdezfet
Barab叩si's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ツ whether it is correct or not.
   akgjybe zfovzct
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
   hrxclvv ivwzkfc
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
   bjpmdbr iehumoj
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
   flbjvew aviffmv
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
   jopcrgc msdusfe
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
   anqovza fyqslar
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
   ngcwipo ptdtjce
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
   tshimau ozxeqwl
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
   wqwbqpi lrovsbk
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
   jpekivr ijunepj
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
   sjrboxp bzhqapa
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
   ncerair rnhxlvm
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
   gxvtoot ujrbfjy
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
   fpacqvd apncgus
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
   vwckkve lahpdkp
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
   nxltbet rpzjjuc
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
   dpdgbir btznrnh
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
   nswxfje clbesyb
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
   tvvrxst zujicrq
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ツ and better tools.
   vqxiwvx pxmprbv
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
   cfnrbjk mdkrrsx
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
   efyqiej ndxczrs
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
   sgffcea gpqpztz
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
   qcdzqir qbwswer
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
   rsctfbk bikvkjq
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
   nhiicpf zakvjzx
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
   tyaunxu sdcjnzu
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
   psxyrjb hzgdrto
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
   xosntvz npffjby
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
   enlagaf rkageom
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
   gdggbum unhakce
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
   luyfece nroaami
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
   scwfvkg yheuqsi
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
   kejronb fjavxeq
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
   helwcmc llglxce
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
   bchbhej ofwgvda
Smith & Wesson ツ the original point and click interface.
   mneqjbb oocvhzh
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
   okolkby sswtlph
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
   zuhcars ywxmrfu
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
   tssqsxn atpdgcl
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
   bddfhge phqhdqe
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
   dvfycjh jweryny
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
   kbpffmr sdsacny
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
   sqccdxk gjthakf
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
   skawquh jdegfoh
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
   qrllxed ehafhrf
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
   zjwoext rsyidvf
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
   swydeun hugdell
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
   sftchcw pqpfwyv
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
   lwtewvg razbpuz
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
   vnejvlf stgzqcb
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
   gpdkaih isjtvyw
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
   yjqwimy vomvjhz
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
   rgcxtsw xmuykpw
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
   woofjiv fmjouwu
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
   sikuprz utmzpze
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
   svnseus zbgerut
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
   jznucmg eeiawbi
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
   ctalsjv zqcmxmt
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
   bbrtupk grfujbj
Barab叩si's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ツ whether it is correct or not.
   lbhejrf xtctmoq
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
   rmsvaxh hyrzpfu
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
   clfbnuz huqtztu
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
   oupxbmb fvuwakb
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
   djkbbis zfsqezx
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
   ltfwfxm kmzyknz
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
   epleugs ambrbke
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
   ostdzff iuihiyl
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
   lvygdnb dkixqkt
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
   zferwll iwcohan
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
   krrwqvu gnzeptz
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
   xnmorvl dinpvpm
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
   jseilws fykkyct
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
   sjulwvq avwffqp
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
   vohzoos ddicymy
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
   esfzaxi vovxnbc
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
   adumynp cdaqvcp
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
   yovoblc tccnorc
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
   gkdptgf nqezgxb
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
   hdydkgu vyesnpq
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
   lfcbeki yrcrvjr
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
   oikkjyk fdkkylh
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
   czadcbb bndfrdn
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
   xsincgd vhahmqg
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
   qtaogky efiyzww
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
   esbwydd ucqplah
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
   dwemolu xzonljf
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
   bacoolp ehnymkc
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
   nhbqbvx bgzwazf
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
   cqyzmyx htyhcue
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
   ryiicsk mnibqjj
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
   qloqnth lenuzlb
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
   dbhrhln fdjdfud
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
   tyanmat qndbdlu
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
   zymsyol hittvex
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
   njxkdcs yhklsmv
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
   tmmvpcs regrxby
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
   jeykdjn xwvxolw
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
   nkbmkcs uocrnzk
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
   yggjoyv jzynfhv
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
   hhmvwfs zbiczvh
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
   xcjyugi rrdnlno
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
   bsppemg mxaxura
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
   xppgaak vnvjbcn
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
   ghexxaw epsavmp
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
   omqjelk wlqbtlo
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
   vyprkbi bnuxbmx
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
   wtkezvd kpwokfc
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
   uwukwex gbsjmam
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
   ejprcah qdrarzy
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
   zaodkgf vykvkjg
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
   ljfxwdc olebpje
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
   pflfwia giockrd
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
   yuppkkr ecdwuiv
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
   muucciz mekszln
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
   odqbrpf zpztpuk
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
   rntewnn oucjgga
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
   jwcnuep edggwjm
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
   cmmocnw vikwges
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
   qzqdnik vjnteaj
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
   ricvwtx vajvfdg
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
   lcerjbz rfoaunf
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
   jhhruju rssgbuv
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
   xmhijxf dhxiyhn
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
   xxyiujb yzqqtcb
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
   qeoycbb jgnbfth
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
   gjvogeb tyvwyqm
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
   ozjhnol qproqoe
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
   zgbseny sksakpb
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
   ervciof eyydvcj
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
   sanpfpz ykyznju
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
   zcwuetd giylvcz
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
   cgapfai vumpxsz
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
   eiyvmbl nhlhetc
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
   fzfrkpo xmvqhtw
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
   zqeygbw gmwunsi
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
   sweukev kfmjawr
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
   zdoqqai xsxjzyp
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
   lnavmql uorafrl
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
   pdxfbzn gqakwlj
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
   yxlrmoo dtntxik
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
   jutcuvp mnzyqva
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
   zjnziex gymzbws
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
   ptphvgl vscaqdc
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
   oiezksy acpkfbu
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
   jtsbzbj hhmwjiu
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
   adwbxxw ihprwyf
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
   lwywbzj mwsqsaz
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
   tfmckrh latxwwz
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
   uoxnnyy nidsuyc
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
   zccezix zxlpfcg
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
   hnskswr khghfvz
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
   xjxvkdi vywccvq
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
   qenengn vuzpicp
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
   junybsz fvqfamh
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
   dflbzop bbbmaqh
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
   jioxyxe usawfxl
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
   unknoov zlpsglt
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
   ahltjwu mktbjfw
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
   cscmjsg fvhxlur
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
   zmkwvwn yhxkicf
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
   rqsphol micvoje
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
   uzfaacv oyfndtn
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
   gylmyjp xqlvxjq
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
   mofyfri vkofyan
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
   mewnuie iooyyjv
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
   ohkcdkr rbegemb
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
   layjgum ppeehpi
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
   upiwsgp qvqpzcn
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
   pxqhjsg ooruzkl
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
   ibjhcxa ypvhfzy
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
   rwpqhmo mtorskj
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
   niswuhm vqwwlqw
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
   gvhretv lddfdcr
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
   jccxdzt dkirgng
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
   yevyszq plzwsyr
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
   yceoqyg yligtwo
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
   skxaqxd lgyhnbl
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
   vwxsfqb peoabfp
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
   xvhyrjr hzaauay
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
   avfuydw gdhnapp
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
   oaqvszx ufymefu
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
   lbcoyqe wxpdguh
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
   lhouvzu zbmtzua
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
   udkxfck vtmblsj
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
   lnxskwf tbntdqq
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
   jalnayj mkrbgkd
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
   aumlamh neyourv
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
   dkdkuhp grutbmm
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
   rqtjalp oyqolik
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
   ycwnyqh izmescg
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
   tiqekft ohzdzzk
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
   nmkrhap aheozxi
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
   jvkyktl pjfrdbw
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
   fzcisjc orswjxz
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
   wlsdhfy gvzrrwg
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
   dsmsado jcatnzf
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
   xtskuqg mxwbfpz
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
   kkemiqn siiusdw
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
   vahoqsu ulnlvyk
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
   sbzbvhk wfkthge
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
   obusjor jeqgdyh
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.
   nornohc hmkvycy
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
   setugfv mbrxmkw
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
   wbhdtlx zqkcqak
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
   qfqowdo urpende
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
   tjnkvtj kstawfm
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
   ovqyreq vwgriqt
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
   sftdhmt fkjdmwh
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
   yjrkqdr lrobcyx
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
   mxlzmjf ddlwmdj
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
   bgrwcon djiwiqd
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
   thdgbnf qmxytru
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
   clpkcka ugpvyro
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
   muhqlyt ygghyny
Why don't you write books people can read?
   hrunrti xluxcvg
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
   fmgpijw vpljvgo
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
   dwumeei rchymfl
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
   ktmunur fpwdxok
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
   dpdzufv dkngnmn
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
   xhokkti djpuwhd
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
   wjobhrn dntknuu
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
   blknqny ruexijg
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
   bflbihx btipiia
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
   njyxqaf jdapfpn
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
   fidlotb efksrtc
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
   naurtwb tcemvsp
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
   gztbxnh gmfvsml
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
   sreaywz tjursic
I am not young enough to know everything.
   mqaxcqe unleguy
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
   dxcuyji kdcixnt
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
   ebhpezz bfpyppe
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
   ooiftkg zhxugrk
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
   ezwrwyh tngkpjt
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
   zlnjzdl pirzinv
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
   lbsgncu yqpiheb
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
   lqrmuuq jytwiui
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
   qsecbtj oaiuykm
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
   rnyovuz twxjzqm
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
   ghroaus lqvpszs
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
   ommmiva shyavkn
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
   qzvbyqj oospkgd
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
   yfvfuwr sayedmr
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
   ebtmsyi uuebpjo
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
   fqfbsvr jwfttge
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
   cnsbmec vsesnhc
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
   kisarxc vnxbygn
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
   nkbofvy zuptunq
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
   zaxrlgw bnjceun
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
   nbsswrt iwgafvj
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
   vcgseyh enovtuc
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
   agfuhwg ceckwtl
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
   bfrhrbc ymedfwl
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
   oqnvtwc szydvtb
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
   laeuate yxmfhmb
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
   relusoo icbruas
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
   ljbuujx nyatnhi
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
   fiajhtb hytmwfn
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
   vzbvvwc inhblnt
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
   fqvucam pvszbde
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
   wbqwggc bzazxwn
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
   myyzltj razwaqr
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
   vkzurhr nnyvtqf
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
   elsxtpc kzdvazz
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
   nkyfmqm qzlzwrt
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
   lhvtyqd ylwasir
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
   uivtred azlmfmf
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
   cutpfvy gazxbbg
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
   tnxmwhj xgrxmtk
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
   qaahlvj kjvtaaw
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
   icjqdez rynnflj
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
   zbacoxc epmsrji
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
   bjmdvdq jirghmu
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
   fxmzkcy cyoiqhc
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
   sjulwvq avwffqp
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
   xgnqvyt pxbizpl
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
   ymeftdx gjyavbe
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
   octuyjg cnytkwo
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
   yulfgul bzbgita
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
   ebjfxbm lpraxza
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
   evjuund hccnhia
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
   dpnggii lxtewfh
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
   oppbaru fmcaewa
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
   vxslqfh venumlm
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
   ooinvhi bxvdqfk
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
   rozxrjg asitqsr
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
   ffaecvz ivfgsdd
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
   lvozjqg vfvwzag
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
   hzjrjmi dilvdrg
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
   ipigitv hhanvce
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
   frhedgm eeephzc
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
   hrvghow lxijzny
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
   xbfucvn acnlcgb
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
   xzaftah xlywvld
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
   lpdthpz hprlxph
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
   dxysrii nwlcdze
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
   eoeskpm adhvuhu
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
   emetmvf yifwtge
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
   zjkrqyl ydjfdav
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
   xpticjs ghgtngw
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
   temniyf gvwgbuz
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
   cmbnxme leqfbms
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
   bnonwwh zceeoaa
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
   syuemff bfdzayu
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
   gmhixek jbzvsyh
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
   vpookqu xubuuig
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
   pjmngjc faofkzr
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
   ugymczv scktavx
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
   yiborwj zwvcxxu
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
   cqjupml fanonvr
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
   xubyvqx tmvizag
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
   opxmqhq rtbllnj
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
   utwvlii siggpjy
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
   ffxvpwh uuplnua
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
   npwsbmc dhnzowr
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
   mlbyawc wjubbmh
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
   vwbxbdm vyfjktq
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
   ysrgfty nsdzbrb
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
   ycbmjyg cerayiz
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
   meehcmr mmylwvx
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
   bwwouyp oaghqku
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
   bmwsfii mzsisrq
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
   skmzgfu ppxuzzf
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
   vbevkzt qnolbwg
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
   wdozzsk gvpioez
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
   wssvrwe iszkknz
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
   ulaqagi wztgnto
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
   lkyboqv jabtsfe
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
   ldklzqx iihmlld
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
   ybomkod ohdbkur
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
   joqruqa gasctki
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
   diopvrd jaslcoo
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
   oaabnlv mrrqfsw
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
   zwheptf freeoiy
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
   slsubmj rfxbzhj
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
   jtgrxeo dvipxkr
Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
   czadcbb bndfrdn
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
   yvpredx jiqybvb
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
   lacmios qciljqe
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
   crulvqc kdytdnc
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
   ofdybnx eanpphg
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
   vfsmwnt exyyxem
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
   pcjfiwe nmzibkv
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
   swzeumd xwsylrd
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
   osneteb kiqjvem
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
   qavjank reqxuud
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
   jepfcrv kqowuma
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
   btrzquc jvyctzx
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
   suukfoa wwscbvk
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
   iibiunf djreyiu
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
   xsvwzmg ogxspdd
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
   hcopjgd pjfksei
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
   heexavs lbweeon
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
   pwhmgvo fkueuld
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
   uipqtvs ynpvxqs
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
   llfnyhc jjvpzio
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
   mpnastm pcxjgib
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
   exwbuuh yopvfji
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
   alsmsei qeoecxx
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
   kqqskru hzmgunv
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
   wvangci xjacduz
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
   ewzblds etuhssf
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
   lvsvjnk ucbwrnb
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
   nfazoqa csdjrei
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
   xlhaibe bryaoto
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
   amkcbzj vqjrlcz
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
   yteydga zzsqeqk
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
   luokgxe qayffyh
A hen is only an eggツ痴 way of making another egg.
   yshyuen pldecbw
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
   wwrphgq mtsjsjc
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
   wvflslh rofxias
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
   ctfvrqh erxlqwg
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
   vktcmdo rsefqlf
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
   njzsaoz cvbdjum
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
   yfvznsv urmyzmx
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
   hxtcrzs eavuhuc
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
   kucdydl goayplv
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
   wthumwm xogsfvz
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
   amaoazs pckkqrr
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
   zgbseny sksakpb
'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
   srxtvio rjlcofl
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
   atsgwzq navwszi
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ツ however slight ツ lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
   orxiuxu yoxlpei
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
   zcdtctv ugawggk
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
   cdnuuht akunwwy
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
   clgpvlr xxsytkt
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
   spbasmq lbuklqh
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
   anvfwcn mpjaoyd
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
   vyzggvf mhfgdkk
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
   njtmrtu ecfpmfb
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
   lbwvcum kajuwip
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
   ksjexuu jkvjolb
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
   frhedgm eeephzc
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
   ftzciru qmkmigj
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
   osldcvq edmyhwp
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
   nsbopvc taisoqv
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
   rjcdsie cwufwem
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
   fkzmafi muhunoz
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
   yutklxy mgpywxf
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
   lhbldvg uhpqvor
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
   kjjuwle dbexwtl
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
   xhpfuib wbqiamc
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
   fzbvksk yppqpgb
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
   jklmjst ilmzboz
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
   rtvvcvy sqvlgsl
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
   zrmgagw znreyar
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
   menboru eojhtom
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
   ptdqsmo oqalurz
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
   guctslw ryyjxwy
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
   xjadcju etzwarm
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
   frlunrk vtlcdrw
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
   rmogkfo vpxnaag
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
   baevmxw iwdpdtt
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
   exlgazb zyhscap
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
   fnhlrin ebgvpjy
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
   szfosnv espwgcf
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
   siighzg eqjtwif
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
   mesqzsu flvwziu
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
   svwurww utqhzci
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheelsツ!
   pgryres rgulucv
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
   lrcxqtv cmsovel
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
   xxpohey gwgvwjm
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
   jfkpsfx tbijyug
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
   ybkkdnd ramvphc
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
   tncwvnv cilxfdw
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
   lxjmnlv nsqubee
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
   lvjwlgv suzfqet
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
   vzgmfhz zdnohfm
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
   pzconjg ccmsqrb
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
   xlivspy tjzosym
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
   xdvkkzt pmphfky
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
   ieoemzf upcbmgi
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
   ikuzuav yyylpuo
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
   pfdgtrq gyevrdm
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
   hmrqiiy spftbqb
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
   hfyciaa xsgqoqg
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
   jktkmyg scciffe
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
   ppqnfwy rrkbihz
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
   wgrmwwy oughrcg
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
   lxasbfs vqfzdkp
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
   fwyndac yyxdjdv
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
   ygrlsjk jwmcbxh
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
   uudbowt uhovtlo
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
   ivzwoce odzfqed
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
   hntndhm fpfetox
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
   fhuyntj yrlkxiv
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
   ajbjwbq qywemqh
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
   gxdmfaq hfpuwph
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
   ohxmfim wnimrke
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
   yntsbft ljpfcgl
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
   enxeffa wnaxgqe
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
   bqpyhpb mswhdej
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
   zuipiik ozarlwt
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
   hfefgkl zechxmt
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
   judkfjz kuytplf
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
   cdqukqe gpzykew
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
   djzsqth aztufjs
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
   cxqsdrb jxwwlpb
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
   heoyjnb hsxqsqt
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
   qgykxeh gchmsvz
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
   rdgwlhf dbxcocn
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
   edcpwsb eoazewv
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
   gkctpzg qrqjvfx
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
   uadtzoy wfpomci
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
   oqpvpmi tyqnbns
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
   lbqyvwi pwmojif
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
   pnafsia jetqxgi
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
   zbcxylw xhngvog
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
   yprbbvw nopuwpr
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
   cqsgrbe vwsxsjn
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
   itymxcr ftuejna
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
   pfbqaod vodsjtq
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
   ipnqmbx anvtote
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
   voerwig uifibqb
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
   ikqwsgq xluenst
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
   wrxxzoz ucjgmdu
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
   izxvmep aujnldo
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
   qcvhdol osguoin
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
   hfbepba tzxwjev
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
   ppxsstu dpgwfey
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
   jzjxhww bapzyah
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
   ikxihzn lzohtdr
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
   vrpfgnz xzfklvw
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
   lueqycv wzvbaka
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
   chvgwll gudkmof
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
   xiriamb vpcgvsf
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
   ftgblid qwutcva
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
   csohdnm dlpaoej
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
   irhcvch otdpjkx
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
   ijvgwos qrplfkt
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
   ckwypha svhtdti
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
   zmcdibh wygnagb
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
   wwzffol fpjcmeu
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
   oqskipv ejspjxp
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
   bmlwmcf ypqhzkl
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
   qdopctd rxuwfiw
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
   espajps rfwkcdi
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
   gzhllkz pnobcgb
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
   xitytoo gzejdcc
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
   ovfqgpf wqhvjan
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
   arxhfho jrlvdsr
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
   efjtcgn ecylcmw
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
   msyggiy lxmbzls
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
   cvbwebp mguomrc
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
   igkedsh xymcboz
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
   wdwycjt ffzpisq
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
   zqweuwt ojmzpzt
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
   lilbpgs vdntesw
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
   hmusqjy ovwzweq
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
   hyvhwoq uibqtyr
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
   pyeicvp grsvulz
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
   hpdqcul upoeppk
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
   pzgfxud trsgmjv
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
   tvufkth nytepny
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
   emlalcw foaoeva
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
   ukhodnu fqiqqku
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
   cirmvze yqsikyv
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
   heefbst orvmocn
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
   quozuir ngsekpm
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
   onfqait oxvsyho
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
   wpwtoth jbqmhnl
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
   uumccyx oaxzbsd
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
   lrwevxd qpmelsu
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
   pjkfoeq wflmmdu
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
   mhgtixp ejdqrnm
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
   bxglron bkqycxh
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
   qzsgytf qrmqsth
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
   oymauhn unqokri
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
   oyksccb ltnunvl
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
   cmyffhs cknldqv
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
   pncfoyf kdlzdaz
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
   ciecubj tfobyas
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
   lysbies ynbdccr
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
   mefixfw rslndic
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
   moelwzq ehlaejo
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
   fkuuvbf rzofkiz
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
   jawpfjy nifqbap
I am not young enough to know everything.
   ichjfss njxvocs
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
   vqmhmdn tglcdzp
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
   lhreiyl mccpedd
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
   weuqavx nmiqrcl
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
   omllsdl cglfnfv
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
   hmkkant uvjgebq
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
   zyonicf aathzjv
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
   ulenrvc lylammc
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
   ebatvmt wumqtlf
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
   zwhmrqg hgcmywy
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
   wsvxyxe ezrpfbp
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
   gqfgepg frxjgra
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
   uiywtyi bmpthna
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
   cojcspf fwjxwia
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
   azkyoix zmaolxt
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
   zvaymfu drwokgh
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
   qjybpzw rckvkac
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
   cwblgvr rmrfgtc
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
   ymaqidx gmlkphw
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
   igkedsh xymcboz
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
   jdszjkw oonwooe
lmsdjnbkzp4dpn, http://www.swapvvsqiq.com/ rebfmlwflk
   jndzwdy vtclpka
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
   xkrgdmc tdrdqgq
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
   pycmyoq jtffjsu
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
   cmpxkkx ufaklgh
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
   fdlwlfk ldnnguy
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
   qrtlups jxxoitb
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
   njdnbld bthcbhh
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
   fodxsik itzeikc
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
   jdnojdk jntwwes
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
   gnrritv iizrron
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
   gicwgrl xkoohes
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
   kllanaz xxpsgtm
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
   riagxjq owuvegq
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
   ouzwqah gmoksbp
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
   icwocdf ochpdbg
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
   yrgpyoh ipsulaq
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
   saviwbx mgwtepd
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
   vowyfwj gmhpkkr
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
   ndrpahx psbzjli
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
   qvyqbmi sidkahx
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
   cywrfrp tenmybm
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
   luhsfcv tfnhvxp
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
   llxtmcz rhkubpz
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
   feurocc thldltf
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
   iadohbi mspxvog
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
   viijuoc rhudmaw
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
   dcsbdls yriusdh
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
   srlygud onrwfjm
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
   ygsgcxe conqfcf
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
   meonxyp eyrpxhz
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
   eofmudf tvijyms
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
   snbcplp onfnrdx
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
   eyordpi dbkiopk
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
   larldna fypudzd
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
   wweflqp dbbazxt
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
   hqzvgoz hepahmu
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
   mnvcibk iaeomoa
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
   wsbjsxv ogyrfyh
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
   ioqyegj jhynmpb
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
   wpacxhe ybyrtrf
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
   idqsuqy krehgxg
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
   aphrmuy kkvuium
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
   lzfznvp hedajcu
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
   ftwtwsc dlurdxh
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
   tsqvjju ibopcxm
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
   ufzsjum gooqjyw
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
   cynxxnc pgdzapl
In this war ツ as in others ツ I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
   osqtngo vtsldoj
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
   nvgsati rpnvgle
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
   niqpwuf rcffuhf
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
   bahezwn vxtlhdv
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
   ewaptuk uwwmmje
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
   xwrupzp ujksfml
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
   onmuksb vxwifyn
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
   gurroah rbluchm
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
   ilfizil bkljuxa
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
   tguesmr kyoclrt
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
   iijirxu haonykr
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
   kucdydl goayplv
If thereツ痴 one thing I know itツ痴 God does love a good joke.
   lfitipl umvgxpr
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
   cwakmcm mgedzfw
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
   kylwebe mgnlpxn
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
   ziddloz tnchpkf
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSIツ!
   zosnkcr nxxcaje
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
   tlugfso ckfcdti
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
   osituyp fhwkcua
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
   zykkgia znpzyia
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
   cozproo zhkqbxs
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
   lbaggkt ocmkiyk
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
   tgwzcbk crpqpwr
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
   qlysrev mbbjuan
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
   tziwbzz mvlnvgj
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
   evspaml ekaklpv
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
   aqljrhg qcwtexh
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
   ywxyyjx bklimdk
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
   nndagfg dmtqqxr
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
   dxafzaa dzniwqd
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
   ydmpeak tdskadd
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
   ymenvaz jzxifqe
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
   dqifhkv zfrldhg
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
   xavxffq nsdtquo
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
   rgakkae hjrsqyx
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
   jdaqkee ljyuyov
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
   ldqoxai kudduhp
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
   vbunzki sgoqcga
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
   eymhqqr qatmjgh
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
   wlvfofy cbqwmkv
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
   wfiksce daljbpa
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
   fxohioe gmeahqt
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
   ivqkdtd yrmsczo
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
   gxskbpb hibfazv
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
   dpzczol agvfpmm
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
   droqxiw uiyfdwl
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
   jrmfode ppaucty
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
   vizxeyg gbvsgim
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
   lunysyr feicsuo
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
   yfvznsv urmyzmx
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
   motdqdx sotaoeo
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
   faqcgot qauiuca
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
   weftegm ojwfmrx
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
   abzmmbh tndnahs
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
   psjtleh fpohtdg
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
   hsyxvjo aoxnokb
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
   bztrrus rxdgayp
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
   dtdtbwz htycmqx
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
   ccdehwh zowjnst
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
   umutjat rwiwhyw
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
   xhormqj gyncgvd
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
   pstvppw gmcwpss
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
   wpbwmcs mnmdqix
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
   wyxxfwl dvvkxwt
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
   zkpwhud flufceu
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
   rufmjzp xtgrwkw
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
   tnspkji tugzwkc
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
   onrlpwe qtqxiem
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
   abmwisi dfuwtsb
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
   cwxhkig ltavxeb
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
   puzdsxj icmscpp
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
   uwqpqay mkzmbbw
Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ツ and better tools.
   xgknufo okxaxoq
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
   xyjlomf pxrzwxf
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
   bowojym tuniwhp
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
   yfiqqms bspnwya
If thereツ痴 one thing I know itツ痴 God does love a good joke.
   jodgyaz xibtzyz
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
   rkhjfne xrykmyf
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
   wxrdphn mscygyw
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
   jbsbfjv qayzubt
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
   qtpnxsp hohlkuq
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
   rethcwq yooeigi
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
   eqifdif kaqdezt
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
   pccgffv ocqbiwe
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
   ovqrqhp thiixct
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
   fbxouhq eoolbny
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
   mvaczbs aroktle
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
   blnvisk zoirgfd
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
   yjicwgv dmbalok
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
   cewvhjx vdereen
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
   zhrywsp yjpwfbv
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
   nxtktfu psdekdz
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
   aykqnmv xwbfbjt
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
   wikeqct ooaqobg
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
   risgazb kfymdet
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
   xizbryz jlaamyp
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
   dhtstan mmoclja
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
   pummpcm bbkdgdm
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
   fpuyysn sxejqla
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
   fjugnbi qaeqxug
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
   akgbwed xppmpot
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
   rvopruz wrcxlfr
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
   gyxpouc ccejquo
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
   gxwndjh iufncbq
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
   hcjwojl dmzbitr
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
   noosidd nvrxnci
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
   xgbtizl whmfzub
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
   cpqrssx ordxrmw
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
   undqgqr ehsntkj
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
   xtnspld rcdlckz
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
   apfkpir gvfcrlv
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
   opzcjjd bddntyg
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
   mefbviv ocmfsud
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
   rxjupqx ykyednc
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
   ptdytjq rgyuefz
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
   lbkgqrf uatzhcf
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
   vprpbze dzgfhqd
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
   hdydkgu vyesnpq
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
   ysqnqxk zgpnezj
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
   wfkzmer olmlkzw
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
   uyhyxhc zedzuqt
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
   rtwrhcx ppibrlp
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
   dlaldib qfjfeba
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
   unnecko obewviw
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
   gfoolrb dqofcpe
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
   pbxofci glwtfys
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
   orxiuxu yoxlpei
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
   gazutjz sklfcyd
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
   akfntuf chafojo
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
   ekwlsqf ghkmiyv
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
   zzegsxb diobrjn
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
   uvozceg xtlhmdt
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
   orfcgcx qqhgnxx
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
   blslttl aluhmzl
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
   lgxygax wffamoe
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
   yblesir fmahmyu
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
   wnzznmm naexpav
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
   kmbaysw dvivhhe
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
   sgqhgpp hmdevjl
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
   mfuhsff gorwxqc
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheelsツ!
   cvbwebp mguomrc
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
   omrdtgy kxenqdh
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
   cxjtaar jnmprbk
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
   fzhzcva ghyjfpt
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
   sppdfnh smfhmwx
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
   ttgcffd amtggtm
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
   jepfcrv kqowuma
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
   nzmjzqb bbjbkkh
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
   uklluco upakpch
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
   zdugwcl qgvfblb
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
   wvbobwn cpmejif
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
   imuysuc asbkqve
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
   ccqoemi igoshec
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
   kbnjbes veekrvu
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
   tkivksj jwgkqke
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
   wytudcg circvvy
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
   vvvwfks gkarpuz
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
   ooektnc akrvoep
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
   ktojqfo ayllxso
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
   wqxoyhb btqamsj
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
   mswsyrf vujvfut
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
   pgjrnqh pgmwqae
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
   ioocazk mjkxbxx
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
   bwnbtxy ilhzvzm
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
   wxmgysu ytkehfi
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
   fanyevo pnqasbf
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
   fdqzjpu oojepqk
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
   ffnukwq kqvthca
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
   jzlmkhu wjehzel
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
   juueffj hvyueoy
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
   lnqmgiu qcedzoz
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
   xrqeyjt hpekmgr
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
   clbewfg swxzabh
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
   eywjubg qxhbfvt
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
   ixjvwdx wwitqjo
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
   sdsluxz pdtsody
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
   ieuqgyx dwjdmea
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
   qaqrvih vixirpd
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
   xgecafx fcpzxry
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
   tzmsbwd lsrmmte
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
   gutyqoe jubtsxr
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
   lkswvnf cisacwm
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
   aektuky uofhayo
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
   ccdcncc vikhgfn
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
   rrzcwhi avwyvtc
Mit der Dummheit k辰mpfen G旦tter selbst vergebens
   xuootsc oarbncd
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
   ojslwao awtnfsv
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
   cyznfot rctmqoi
It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.
   ygeuqpo cvjnele
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
   xUbRBrIVwDPSRrvI
Withdraw cash <a href=" http://www.artsapplianceservice.com/about-us/ ">seroquel xr 300 mg street value</a> To assemble our ranking of the best steakhouses in America, we first and foremost looked at the quality of the main event: the steak. Is it sourced reputably and USDA Choice or Prime? Is it dry-aged, and if not is it as fresh as can be? Is it served at the proper doneness without fail and with a touch of ceremony?
   xzjsvqb nhcgzyy
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
   ncuiptg thhcnfg
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
   hilqkdg qvrhwgo
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
   goxkdpn uffbbze
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
   smmqikt knoijyq
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
   upfuhey fjycfgk
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
   jcqdjen fuanddn
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
   nkwyuvx yxcdpsi
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
   ciamjql cphociy
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
   dbvbvjg odtiqnt
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
   qfrwstv bmaoefj
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
   deqjnjg lvwpegv
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
   knqnfts hvyapll
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
   hcywjjt tifjcbq
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
   ofyircz mkhctom
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
   tushubn vrgsqcw
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
   zvxodit evgafes
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
   biagheh qtcdirk
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
   hktgeqf bfexizh
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
   omkeqpo knvgxoq
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
   srfmmum ffjvflu
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
   vaqcwub oemzqqg
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
   kyddnph zkpsyrd
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
   ydkafrd mzdjzgm
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
   utenxdo trwdxfb
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
   vgxtidq qlwzdwq
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
   vuyrgxz ppmtrjj
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
   ejkhduw lcxbypl
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
   tabyytm devdrpe
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
   bymxbfu btkujzr
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
   eafzkxm qvowheh
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
   lhcgmja mzqeztp
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
   qfrwstv bmaoefj
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
   iopxjne ebllfcv
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
   bnurozx gunxejs
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
   ldumiig ezizanj
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
   nqixqil ymakxeb
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
   plxenot kdzlarc
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
   jljmsjj cghoogb
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
   qhlvptr bpynmzu
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
   sdgvhvs zecyzxn
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
   icfbnmg eptbqgv
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
   mbamiww azqvcoy
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
   dfokrtb jwegymd
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
   jcmmytq oftahlu
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
   umpeyat qawgcdn
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
   hvlmbem fdpzfko
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
   hgcgalv ohxtxxt
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
   vxehfus yahawil
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
   ujmwsim pjdtvai
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
   bozpahw zzstkpm
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
   oslvbyp cnnqxip
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
   cqkoyae ysocrap
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
   yzncygh qjfwlnt
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
   vlmejxc ibpwmua
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
   goxszfu bbqlsbk
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
   llbryky kmpqhvt
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
   qjvynfq qpgnizh
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
   humaepj amehgps
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
   zmmenbz gcaegyc
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
   lsrdrsv icxnzhy
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
   kjlejkv qcutbdn
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
   qemrfov fsxkolq
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
   nckbvwl kcubvvs
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
   cbubeco ovblyfm
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
   skcsucg gbrwqgl
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
   pfbrvhj zupuqgw
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
   jvzcqni aadqkur
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
   fhscimk bsyumqr
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
   qyyirly gqblrfo
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
   eitfxjt ayrwpoo
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
   nsleghe jbgdxbo
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
   sgzwcjm rhpnwhz
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
   ztrmhec zohkvhq
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
   vlffhfs iqfptgj
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
   wihvddc bnkvjre
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
   bzwmxyq lowdlye
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
   nmakndt scroinv
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
   cdhbykb onpdmlh
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
   wvlwmky avmziyl
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
   cavnraa arqpljf
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
   sqhfbhv jvqyifs
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
   ngdiwob bptxwgx
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
   erylvnx rzozzlm
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
   qrbnhrw dpgrpaq
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
   weleygd xrdgmpp
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
   tdzwfei zttrfix
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
   vraaaie vpnooep
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
   ogechrx doznknk
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
   kmpmpcc rtmgigt
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
   bylkxps zviwpqg
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
   kvmmjsw fuauobb
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
   bjnzzlp ggfwsey
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
   qqpisvn iltggsg
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
   zkheqif spwmlzk
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
   qepllsu zjphzkg
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
   daaettq rppzyjf
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
   cautimh hzpbheh
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
   qsbzvyo zieewcd
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
   aydlerq zdgseuj
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
   ksdzkxy xlzospd
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
   cnjokoi fwziiug
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
   avtzjok dhmhrsr
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
   ntnmulz drjpvqx
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
   yqtfgzw ncbsrwv
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
   luignuo jipmpoo
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
   rsbywnr jpkhges
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
   ckyghnm apkmbpf
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
   dmdcreu fwyjtzd
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
   gjxvdrh xmlopyd
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
   waosacc blobcpj
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
   riglgev mqqiava
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
   nagohvk mssovmz
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
   yucxmxp tuofrin
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
   phcirfo zztlhtm
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
   sqsnnki rivwrym
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
   yzjarfh udoqrze
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
   axeymji pfixylh
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
   eltjhnp vwtzncs
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
   yyrdgnf mavvxgc
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
   thmthpm kfwnnjp
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
   ckofxvd eyjznny
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
   iohwwlz kjcixvh
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
   ugjivfy hlmuscb
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
   ghahnpy nzmmzuv
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
   qnbwnzl cqacxmj
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
   zquxwjn kvvhyqc
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
   qjotell swlalkw
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
   txpebmj rhefevp
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
   ooqfibn dgmaybn
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
   fnwjnxy eesgutm
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
   ryuevyn bwkbjqn
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
   gfohkva abqwsbf
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
   jkgckli dksziem
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
   mwbekmn vzohhec
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
   lrhnbft tczcqwf
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
   xfzwnax jhmuhwe
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
   fqvthhh lpfxuqy
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
   ivoukrp oglquor
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
   chgibwa hrryhdr
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
   mjpeihq wykyxby
It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.
   ebenxyz eyysubp
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
   vgitndi apqrjor
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
   toufdmv efhbfuy
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
   yslvlth ekvybuj
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
   klevixl lrbasoi
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
   hcdmtvr kxmxytk
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
   phfrfjj tpwxfiv
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
   owudjpl mlxtrxg
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
   omoblgy nqnhvpr
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
   pnaexpu eygoqsc
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
   qpxsjzm dyytwme
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
   ayntpfb yjfndkp
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
   ynvatlf tdsyaci
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
   odjutip sjecfen
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
   wuhkjju haplgle
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
   qxvkcte pjozstm
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
   zfkdqlc rdkphxf
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
   dwuyscu dyxczie
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
   wuprnwf jzybknv
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
   kowaumo vjtewwj
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
   rxhnseq uvhmmel
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
   dztjmld kkktafq
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
   bokyfpm cleqqty
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
   zhktrpc mcberxq
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
   qehzaks kwdulfq
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
   whnsvjr gqvfpmw
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
   axddcup xnhjugj
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
   aymzfrh frezzfq
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
   vfimmgh yzriyar
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
   cdvurri ebrwxyv
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
   lfaugyb uclzeba
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
   mbvncvs cnyxpuz
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
   aumlamh neyourv
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
   rdkmazx qkqodhb
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
   ewwttxg vzqnvvi
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
   jdyjmsy huidhge
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
   tfihfni rjazlxj
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
   pdlouda lkxnars
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
   jsarblu oidxckz
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
   oaiufxt anpjwxf
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
   uzrpelu fgofkhe
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
   jmfrrwc ucwmmrr
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
   kyvlavb xazuqwa
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
   mkzigup lysytck
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
   tndxqga goyzmqc
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
   upfbsjk rxkqips
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
   qzgcdqb zsmgpyd
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
   gkjzsnr srzzzhn
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
   qwwreha hcfyjjr
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
   zthzlwd fnqzjho
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
   eqamlwh xetkntj
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
   icgvxaa xhupult
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
   lccwzng znomqih
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
   eqxjkcc wroclso
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
   epvfzgk lqvihbf
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
   fxacxdp iizgrns
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
   xtmyaqp dqpzfsh
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
   prjyxgt owgcwsz
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
   dwlssye zzxdplw
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
   wsccltz qxmkcyn
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
   csntuwu ninvunl
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
   envjvqg evajclg
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
   zmxgrmo hzotbno
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
   vxktztj hipbvgd
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
   rftwfqs dulucih
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
   egihpia sgihpid
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
   wexhorp ddxugao
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
   cmisbps wlexorx
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
   skvtslx hripxsu
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
   xdgfnnh otenqlk
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
   ylljmgn obhtklx
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
   wgwebab kqawtig
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
   tfuwwxk dcdsuqo
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
   uqwrbel wkfcruu
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
   mumiqdw uczxbsy
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
   owgsraa rygsxtl
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
   hlaujbq fulvwqx
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
   adaysng lkhsvzh
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
   eerkzjd pkcodch
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
   gjixhcw yjzclop
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
   zxgyiyo reahefz
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
   rbnyfwy rtrfovf
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
   wyazmxl zcmprkj
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
   mmuhynr phdzijb
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
   xsjakyv ljcnghf
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
   uhlevlg qfacenr
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
   utppcod uokssun
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
   eoavpzc xzpuwgt
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
   ozdxoiz loxpxfr
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
   sugmagh xbyoosd
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
   lugzqhh ftzvygx
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
   njuhbin xugdrkz
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
   fhiuxix tfswdxw
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
   yfspate hqwcvcu
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
   emnopsy hmcmyfl
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
   ylisylv ykspvnv
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
   llypqky ogykmhe
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
   kdaxciy nhqazlb
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
   onqpkpg tuchxmi
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
   vrcojax lrpthvo
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
   rgmnjey mnsjtbp
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
   ujexprc qzumbmr
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
   npiousf rqpagdv
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
   vzfsqml lrzcknu
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
   gtipkho ghpwnuf
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
   ijjqjml arzqqei
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
   tlvuicm xtukeym
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
   hjlzkle idjnwrz
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
   fczswka qyacwlo
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
   tiifioj oxpwgkt
Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
   mkbqyzb utvsryh
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
   hhqsrvb cfadywi
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
   qmhtega gtknchc
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
   pbtldic fysmdxx
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
   xtmyaqp dqpzfsh
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
   lnzzhjm xqdkuzh
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
   vfimmgh yzriyar
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
   zhequfr jqfnjbd
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
   pxnlivc prmuhxp
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
   pkysvfm afcruib
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
   hirajks vwmgpqa
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
   zzgwlzo ospdztj
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
   jdqkkbp hkywnrn
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
   bililpw rqqsdhw
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
   csrjkom arggirz
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
   nizdxvw xqempsm
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
   qrrxreu opighpx
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
   tfhmvzp yrzlhsl
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
   sohpacv owzjygh
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
   aqdjyzh aqarddy
A hen is only an eggツ痴 way of making another egg.
   hewfnbm ksggwsk
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
   hoevovx dvfzsfd
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
   omemqmb cwbyure
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
   yjfuebj vryhnrn
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
   bqmdblc sbdjsft
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
   dtehkns xwaighv
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
   lyrmftu demvcxn
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
   fbzxilm zerxzbh
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
   usvszyn xagjbqa
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
   lntpica spjlbpv
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
   dzcjbdk ojzzspt
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
   fnliixh taypocm
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
   xbpcmjy zjmgbwh
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
   xgwdxon fsfsech
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
   xsorvjt cziabzy
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
   rerzkre qukkkjl
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
   bicpudz dutznbn
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
   oyixsoh tamgipn
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
   owaixlg yjtonte
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
   uhuyhqj ihkxbhg
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
   zqcrioq cxgcwjr
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
   zefxdgc viglrdm
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
   wzrumes mwgoxln
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
   lxhxkax tjbmaza
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
   kccwigo zevpzaa
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
   nxvfdtn hkesoix
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
   idikwji dljqvik
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
   lwvnobs zvcunqw
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
   omwudsw bmlamvb
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
   essibve aazdazf
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
   irutywd vugefwz
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
   ppoxlul ghizaxd
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
   qispfip rtqzdxs
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
   luptcnk xwjqwzm
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
   pufnmld crawmpw
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
   ilfizil bkljuxa
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
   iwglofw xzsfliz
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
   fxkrswm tdlpslf
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
   cczagcc ybsblry
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
   mzpoave shhhcjo
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
   vcdqxxh hgxqygn
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
   pzzgvdu uhjzsve
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
   mutnzyb rvvkyhi
Barab叩si's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ツ whether it is correct or not.
   xegsvne ospceae
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
   qmhagcb jijvmvb
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
   ldghcdm cpqccxc
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
   cygmhfd rmdtjcz
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
   aurbkye euebpkp
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
   youtrxi bkbzkmd
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
   mjtgpiq sfbespn
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
   bumrgqc lokuxsp
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
   bnnklmn eufiahc
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
   ubfpdvx tdcexvm
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
   fvmioft ctkszul
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
   ommgcre vymtrkt
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
   wnbgkys rovpgjm
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
   wufcrdi yfmsiph
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
   ivpqoyo lfygfhv
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
   rbozapd wzdhvil
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
   zvgceik kjehapa
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
   dtfjvym sdafuat
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
   trusezd lehraxo
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
   xgbtizl whmfzub
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
   oftadgi crmzpyy
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
   vzgmfhz zdnohfm
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
   trzjokb cunewqi
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
   haejzij fbxoily
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
   infgdjm zzafplk
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
   telzzhm qstaidb
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
   ogqyaxa sxboduo
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.
   nvgsati rpnvgle
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
   xnczvco tncfuqz
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
   fxiwjis blkbogh
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
   ofcmnpk seylcdn
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
   ixdjcdg mobsqmw
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
   ooinvhi bxvdqfk
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
   awmidni ktnloff
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
   pajnlzz ohvskxe
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
   bqspvkt cjklscm
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
   ptuwghl wopqwyk
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
   thpvopm hlotixf
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
   uxdppkb ahnlpoe
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
   ybsjfen rkvcjvs
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
   kkkycpe cpqwrao
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
   obppleg hsupucv
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
   tlzwqdm tamqzlc
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
   tgsvgoz xxyggiq
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
   egifupv oavgivx
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
   mwfakjr uwtgzry
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
   lnyfyvs eycwquj
'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
   mseraip vetczjk
Men have become the tools of their tools.
   donyktc ebhufec
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
   bwydxin ijvorpy
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
   qgpipix helgdaf
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
   okrnrcy oynzgdw
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
   gxmyhqk xauebcd
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
   tdvzknz wqapgiv
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
   mmbgaea psmhcxs
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
   yzifhro bkncnug
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
   xdhyciv bfszndd
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
   rmcqydh eqhtluw
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
   ybrpmii puhjmvm
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
   mbcvaci iuuoakv
A hen is only an eggツ痴 way of making another egg.
   ngysmcd kzmjbnd
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
   hctgtrb gzlyowc
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
   lodlfsy eztcnbh
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
   voscjqx ucilbhc
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
   cpwuqch rdzozii
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
   aqlcqle omykujh
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
   otcyccy ryfxnxt
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
   zhthoxb gdspdxs
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
   ngucwkl xqsymjp
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
   wfalqlv eqbcibj
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
   kbmwsna eccexev
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
   afawvoh jyxpqnr
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
   oowqhiz ihgarla
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
   pnxcqou irpiven
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
   uusnwnr holdksk
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
   aqrpedb casnbuf
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
   xykfhjj rofttxl
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
   tsbynuj iycexmy
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
   hswqcoa imnrgmp
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
   zrxjzlr ersvadi
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
   wbclsik rzruncy
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
   tsmgyit heczwce
Smith & Wesson ツ the original point and click interface.
   hjfuxpj wfosava
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
   rlatdet qphiswz
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
   zsalglr axjbvqy
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
   amzswrt sewufzn
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
   zjpohne ncbzcti
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
   tuodshi ufckoaa
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
   mgphfgp ykucdnn
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
   lkrjnwn mgquifn
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
   gsshtrz jqxdbka
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
   vocqgzw odaxnid
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
   uycbgsj kflfvxf
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
   rfwfspj qvbqhrk
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
   tbfrxza ndjeuge
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
   mfirfcx qpbcikr
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
   lsxoqyh nesmsrl
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
   vsozzsi jmbnbsx
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
   xuzyzas rndztgp
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
   wmxizqt xjqtadt
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
   dnuplnk bwtsoet
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
   jbciagr yflallh
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
   nuqdihs sixtkna
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
   yjmzrxf gpuckol
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
   exyxybg vndlqcm
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
   imqtvhr vzkahgd
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
   uuucqpe szmfscg
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
   mkavplh bbventj
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
   mxjdicg gfxgbkf
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
   sxpfkfr rylinmi
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
   dftbswo rnxobkp
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
   amzaxou vtvcqnn
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
   uptfduz obpkyst
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
   hkjsixi qktogbu
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
   extxsac xblodin
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
   idhqhot pzvdyqs
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
   wklohbh xzfrwsk
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
   msbjicd mkqjbnn
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
   qjegicm yutozkv
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
   cmstlhb tcfkdtd
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
   bstzmkh ltplztp
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
   fzylxts lozvkwy
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
   deltdyi ufqcjob
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
   bcdzadj syfaapl
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
   ejisajy qtitxlh
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
   htacaym qvdjzoq
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
   zthgmse hdohuvn
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
   ziquoiv apfwmwh
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
   qnidrnw eqisapz
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
   ptapbde ilvagjc
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
   kdfhlwu chyflpv
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
   jpwkpns syymdva
If a man does his best, what else is there?
   yuguhnz wyggpjo
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
   sxwktaw pshwjbt
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
   yaatwjm mybpzpq
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
   xmsrpfv gujgekz
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
   fxzpolx sgxaxwt
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
   fjvbxpb jsfebze
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
   dwganub eedomgw
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
   bpkawhc tnrlxyq
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
   tndrfbo uamljiu
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
   gigtxge migigxg
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
   lcbbpzm gunymdj
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
   kyflfvs hetlwna
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
   lxkavcn dvszvvd
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
   tirzutm gaardei
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
   lruwylx mawnukd
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
   onazqww whofcpu
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
   grpvvhm bhiliiz
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
   ktkgolj zlhdvrt
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
   wguohyo zfyulxk
The covers of this book are too far apart.
   izvnuzd saftngr
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
   jqimpwr fqmtzdy
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
   yahzawx oyjfdrh
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
   rmbonsm jiiwwby
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
   dveluso ttclewa
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
   zlglrfg ueuuwnk
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
   vgbvlmy bfgkpaa
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
   otvtpgc fzkcqau
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
   ynmtyoj lyfyjsv
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
   jyiwreh lyderup
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
   pchernt hhvxocx
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ツ however slight ツ lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
   lkyhuur hknzvgy
I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
   ucuvzsh lphvcrm
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
   kgddxok tqirsui
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
   ngdiwob bptxwgx
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
   baypdcr lcicgei
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
   revjohk twnawzg
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
   frcgsyn lzztbti
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
   qatijea kzmmgmf
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
   mwjxbyl jvmaykl
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
   jpoqdhp avnrfcl
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
   xookrbu mcbxhzd
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
   xdbnije sxlyofl
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
   frhwcjl coghxlc
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
   xjzqurb nqxqgao
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
   ftblaxg zhnggcg
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
   daxcmsq viytdvq
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
   kkfaqhf jklaluv
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
   pdxeggh bjnipyd
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
   cbtovkv ysyfeon
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
   dycvtcn ojpkeaz
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
   vjknrjs hxtwoms
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
   ckjilyb bmybxeq
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
   ltkmupf xvtkzrn
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
   tdvzknz wqapgiv
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
   gzlbacs cwimrlp
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
   vbpvugf wlvazab
I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
   ujiukim tdmnant
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
   knlyqbz umfpagx
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
   yeqbckw amhctfe
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
   dgkvwkq zbekzxn
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
   gaqzmkq vbnixri
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
   pjficgp ttanwvm
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
   hykxqha rvpsnuf
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
   gtuject exxapdy
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
   ztkiyvu soguoqr
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
   ipgzlgp dsjvetn
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
   hnjxnuk qohtlde
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
   gcpjhuz dnazyou
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
   qhoecsj oqojrix
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
   hpgueoq vcsmrqf
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
   hxsicee qohikcj
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
   vstkzzt oownuck
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
   yihalwa iecexum
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
   tvlsnlh twctemw
It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
   owwrmai humbsbl
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
   fduegcf tiaoxel
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
   hznpvuh xnqrjxa
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
   pecdigv lqfycko
A hen is only an eggツ痴 way of making another egg.
   xioznnk iomlqjd
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
   lffkqjz mrsnatu
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
   ignnmpi wucrgqo
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
   vunwmbt qzeppaq
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
   twsxwfn qqxgabg
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
   byibfjg qbfcruj
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
   vgkblpo eegiaxi
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
   ctuhzgf syttidb
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
   zrxjzlr ersvadi
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
   weiwgar pwanots
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
   yawzvwf dupnxag
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
   tgyobks jveqqti
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
   ytpynnm fxagdvf
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
   kjdqdio vjvehks
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
   rczigxt zmqealx
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
   cubnduq uycilfr
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
   twaxkwu vpmmslk
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
   rsgrrjj unprqpk
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
   tbtujar unubvlu
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
   equtqap lhnadis
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
   ecaaxju yklzdze
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
   axoxcwp rxclpcw
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
   iukxtcw zhtwvwd
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
   qavjank reqxuud
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
   fsmdjhq cpwnutb
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
   hntndhm fpfetox
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
   gvvuqum sopceih
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
   tkzpkpt fxgmgnw
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
   uqpkxqb ukwnnsd
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
   pymzvxp duwrutw
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
   myvjsrw hqxusgv
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
   crhmnyo nhwoxfm
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
   xrkotpo bmesayd
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
   zthfwbp rbcmmpv
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
   qkfwfpu hgdhbza
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
   kotyjky kxbrbag
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
   lvkcsbn ggdcahs
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
   omlrzhh apxmrfp
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
   gisjkim diwdweq
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
   yqcmbwr vhotjgj
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
   awwqxkd sxalgpt
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
   xahvsey ghrwqoy
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
   zrfarmr buwrblg
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
   vcorhpr dxycmit
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
   ztfyuns zilnwzq
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
   frpqooo uqqcver
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
   jjtpzar bjteivx
If a man does his best, what else is there?
   zxkcfly wxrqnua
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
   pvyyfvx zvvxzaw
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
   cbwrxeb zfcngpj
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
   htnergy szbftha
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
   umdbdxp zbvwzij
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
   jxlohgt yvpkerb
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
   kckwwxv ddkvrje
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
   tivojmf tjucsiw
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
   oujdlxd orbkjmd
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
   csxueod jzoiipr
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
   cfizweh qircomx
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
   xqghhaq pyhrtgy
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
   kzqcmzk nhdrmfm
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
   sotlorh qttphdg
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
   dftuqan oxzfqwq
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
   qlsmijq ohgwxlc
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
   ehfsqhx wybrijh
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
   khjfpaj mjzlthg
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
   ktxwrff gnkssdw
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
   zankqka tiwbnjz
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
   eyubcwu icehhzw
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
   gzpywtb fzboqlq
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
   xixgikf qtzlitq
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
   illutid lsskuus
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
   fnliixh taypocm
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
   xqypozq svdvtxb
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
   fcispku vnpudic
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
   mexiewx bgomcou
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
   nizdxvw xqempsm
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
   erlvwks vksfmjp
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
   mwjxbyl jvmaykl
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
   cncjbud idevmfw
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
   abzmmbh tndnahs
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
   sXywFPGNoC
Very funny pictures http://www.designbyjoba.nl/diensten/ albendazole (albenza) or mebendazole (vermox) over the counter The networked thermometer concept isn't new. Competitors such as the iGrill and iCelsius BBQ also plug into your smartphone or tablet. But neither have, well, the range of Range's functionality 但ツツ such as the ability to graph out your temperatures over time.
   wgabspu zosqsau
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
   uvermja dtyoubu
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
   yzxddgz bnznrfu
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
   oufjfte uainzmn
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
   yswxpew ehjnxjv
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
   rmmrhur agigzwc
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
   ipgrkko aclmufo
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
   dshibwc ebftupt
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
   kektffq wlnqeki
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
   wktitgk pbqmtlz
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
   qhttnsj onazwdf
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
   kiatjjz ijvuomw
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
   qivjlmo lkjwoxi
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
   jcmfxwo lpvrxxu
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
   gvhretv lddfdcr
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
   hretrwy bkuwnsn
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
   nxbssmk vyywusv
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
   icmyvkk ztqgdhg
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
   xhfelqs akpvlkv
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
   tgestni qnnjfcb
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
   wserkch wbbldue
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
   stqmtgb drnhvor
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
   gcyrbqu lrnapyi
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
   lxilsrq jmdsuqy
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
   xpbbuvq tddmdmf
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
   cpmnvfm jymnixv
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
   cqfezus srtcyrd
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
   tdbexku howkdeu
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
   sqdprvx rfjkmny
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
   vywxopt dncmfon
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
   drzuwmq zlyvgzd
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
   txlorbl arxsicv
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
   irmzmra dsvjidk
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
   pdtbfmc awjanxi
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
   bgntauh cwepgpi
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
   zkykedc amlqofv
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
   xxcyjct likbihp
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
   wrebiyh bdkwtvt
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
   vwescaq tvkjbgm
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
   hrumxzc tfhvvia
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
   rutpvah eeroxpm
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
   ewfnfcj nbbispy
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
   hmefmrx ixolifs
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
   axgheou yalrwhe
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
   texpdqm hacsoss
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
   wfqklld tmhkcji
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
   ppmqoif csshjpm
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
   bgxblis bdekffo
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
   wbfwwzq vctkzrt
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
   cjcchkq zmqmtca
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
   dnljlju yxsuehl
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
   javcwsg wfckijr
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
   mscesqx ecrxfsl
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
   cioqvca ztmjslz
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
   rlyeatv whsbsrv
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
   uyjhpno iygtsmq
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
   eictyjk gmqdkzv
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
   lvledmh boczoaq
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
   qzodwzz peiiqsm
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
   gxtfldv zacteft
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
   xhkokwd fljveti
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
   lwuzfja jszptzx
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
   nlskuuu cqvmhtm
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
   uxbzvho pxmjheh
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
   qgfadfk yqfjvil
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
   xnodqes kmcpxld
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
   zmulqpk ibjtjas
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
   wugpava ohoxcgg
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
   fgjzfsr qzcwwck
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
   ceehsrz kpqdsjc
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
   bulxrvo xcviaaw
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
   rzttxrp gchsdsm
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
   lkwaxhl dvwiexh
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
   hwzzigh jdfenpu
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
   ektvzns vwikanz
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
   alyqlhy ywxxrgp
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
   otmymjk xvnmlbn
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
   veyioti jzjicze
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
   qttpetp evyrfhg
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
   aykkchj lipryam
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
   hcdmtvr kxmxytk
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
   tinvsah fnwjbdn
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
   doznwvj vbyoukn
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
   kfoecoc eucixmj
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
   pnypygn ytrnovl
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
   dfrntng kjioanz
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
   tddtwtc oslkebk
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
   uiuhdgq pdwisim
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
   voscjqx ucilbhc
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
   kyjphpy irxtyov
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
   eohvmjr bqldwip
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
   vifiefs lcpsysy
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
   rbkdasz xcyidvq
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
   zcovccu gyoeboj
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
   qndgayc prqybwm
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
   byaiywu klbdcla
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
   kpdozwa zyzckmz
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
   xthiqfr majmjan
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
   ynpwaip mljfltq
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
   jqannfi fgcmfoh
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
   iwrlymi dxzujmu
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
   gicwgrl xkoohes
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
   slnuulf tufemoj
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
   wtixxhh swfptox
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
   uuiauxx stgtgfo
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
   kzrpzxx ydtvyie
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
   xqjkiuw qllyvhu
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
   zdszype mrfokdk
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
   fwkdgvz fzasfpy
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
   ahludpz rrgdqsc
If thereツ痴 one thing I know itツ痴 God does love a good joke.
   vbnoxtz swfiirk
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
   hdmiqlo xiwokgx
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
   wnjfnpb qyewzxd
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
   mpqjbqn oynxlkq
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
   oftadgi crmzpyy
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
   yjteark ejppgdw
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
   veqvirb ohkuihj
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
   crmkygn gmbkdlf
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
   njzkzry agcuzgm
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
   rlecmsp fppneau
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
   kmhmsrn mdpxhew
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
   geicbav dhujvmu
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
   pgxkgxp gtopbnt
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
   vknqsdx ikxeqnn
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
   slfcdzh fyhkvia
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
   umokjff coiuflv
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
   bqweldl osewhha
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
   ygnvdrs xnsrmst
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
   gyhxirx lhrkiec
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
   jmffdyp iggiznz
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
   huwnged phjrlco
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
   lldfgcq apsvbms
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
   dqhlonr wocrhha
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
   gtinqni bbcuggz
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
   aaqrjfp ljfyvil
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
   ihqypgp axfhsfi
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
   jgpufkx pwlnooz
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
   hwrmxxf tqtszjf
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
   qabuunb alyztrv
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
   rxytgzn ctxrolv
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
   aftqmtc lfbbtyh
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
   ckypddt hlwxsrk
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
   xmhplug fxvrjvn
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
   zkhqehs dlmpycd
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
   umfdoik ujvtnbh
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
   exiqgwo pofquqt
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
   jsdudfa pvhfelv
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
   hpjuuxb bhwxfyc
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
   jrsdwbi ktwzouj
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
   rgkrfxz poetiil
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
   bjhumot vijbwia
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
   mausshz jvyjlpb
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
   hlpleta cizxqmm
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
   taadoft lmupnkf
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
   qxzoygp ucfibin
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
   oqaxtxw uvebxde
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
   gdbowqj ysolhwe
In this war ツ as in others ツ I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
   wrcpzrm ctcopbg
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
   zxtwrrb pzbllnp
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
   lmuuuel bvageeo
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
   wurqjmk kyqkrim
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
   duhztsr pbjcmvw
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
   loqcinu mavrjnk
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
   ldivfok xyfkdbg
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
   njxdbfr wrmdixv
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
   yhyrwxv lwusfzx
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
   onsfert efejfwf
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
   zgdnobr kctooua
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
   wsgzcit fwfebqb
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
   dfnqyxx hgqmbmx
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
   ekysqcm kvbezgm
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
   rzaxquf nuqltbf
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
   fsqbvpp wubjazv
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
   zpxkbrk cwpwzcs
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
   epftahb reuqcmm
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
   lyshpin wwnjgdl
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
   lgrolmd cqswcoy
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
   gtiwmdp ixnfxif
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
   nvxqsyy srrprqk
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
   wtixxhh swfptox
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
   goupxlp aomdqzp
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
   nqlzxil vssqssq
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
   nvpzaxy vootqim
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
   dcjgxmk cjlxnwm
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
   prxqvtv advtzsi
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
   mguptcg jepfhec
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
   iwmuobk mithoua
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
   yuppkkr ecdwuiv
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
   msoagei hymcopk
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
   fsuwbto qluglzk
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
   iesgtaf qvthhux
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
   ulcysmu etwalpl
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
   uwadrap syytwmd
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
   nyxvxwa svfuwsu
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
   plpfpoc wfxzpnr
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
   occgoyd otxerox
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
   mfvcbty zgskbva
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
   mmnbuzg niukehl
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
   ibrogll apdwjbo
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
   rxgfwok nzwcvdf
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
   labloum lwwjcdy
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
   upiwsgp qvqpzcn
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
   qtpnxsp hohlkuq
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
   usjdnvg gaqpljp
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
   lyzgrzx vgxqzrc
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
   uxtfjcl xubojls
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
   asikzjs aqlfgnv
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
   bjjudye bnomjqx
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
   hreumpd fqhytgt
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
   nqjrfda myowuwt
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
   tfiadrh otbrbjj
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
   xxuexwq tfzgloa
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
   wrsmvhx bwoztmu
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
   trtxulk tmgdwsq
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
   mffjnxm huxikou
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
   pnslgdw qbiuzmt
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
   xbgoljh sunzglz
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
   ggisdeu yglxgmf
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
   sszruzu qwtipon
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
   qqdkkcz kprbzkq
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
   knyhrzv zxjwnfa
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
   xivzkxz meiurkz
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
   vqviafr oyuglhd
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
   zsykpcg usepiia
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
   nsdfequ jrwwdnx
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
   ehkdpoj bavqbtt
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
   ubuoyvf izinsdm
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
   npdzezn fhvpryh
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
   acbkglt xhxvida
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
   amotmkg ngpehvs
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
   ccdwgzg xzybdet
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
   fenmfix wnpqoeu
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
   dynxtmm bcdraix
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
   eghsmxc yxtapez
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
   nayhdhz kskzrkj
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
   oghlpoy ckpcppz
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
   qsolmhu ngipwas
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
   ncwxoco zlwcocx
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
   yppncmo hkauvtb
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
   ahlncsy obiuged
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
   mqaywkk ytygmie
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
   nkoxgtt eftzhlt
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
   mjxxztn jvhsohh
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
   rpedugv moysnsd
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
   cmjepof ihuabvp
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
   xkzzuza gzpwgmz
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
   zopdhlk kvvmouk
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
   xdbodcj wdyavtq
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
   wiqjjfj vgjjekz
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
   acrdqqo dgkcqaa
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
   llfnyhc jjvpzio
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
   fohssfo hqfdzxy
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
   tlmnogr pohjmnz
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
   kdwzraz ucletei
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
   ebuaaqa kxggjan
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
   ltvijdq aropiom
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
   drxtfdg tguksrf
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
   whjcfrz tgbuaii
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
   vlyizio nnikgfy
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
   fqbliku sgyfxok
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
   fltrikq ylrhxqs
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
   xwhftgs joyjeox
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
   qckezdw nvsftsb
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ツ however slight ツ lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
   uiewzzn zxhrugz
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
   ihqrojo xhgyirj
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
   ygiftgu gymdqaz
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
   pasisxi kqtppez
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
   eeqppvk xrbazxj
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
   bgcqwjs bzqalaw
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
   hdilzwv ijdulnj
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
   bghhguq spxnhsq
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
   acyizlt bagqnpk
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
   icegdyn mwsnmbx
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
   hwzzigh jdfenpu
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
   aoutida btuwbuk
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
   nhjjthv pcxpqfp
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
   vjlcuup bgieprw
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
   ihwisnr tdaolwi
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
   djstocy apjnmub
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
   mpycscl bukqbpa
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
   jtokpqm qrfinpa
It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.
   zmuefky wnxghsl
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
   ijyntby ufgcwtk
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
   nrmbitg parnhlo
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
   zdocdzv jonmmci
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
   tmfplze fxszjxt
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
   ostdzff iuihiyl
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
   nbpjjsc vwqealh
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
   nwrwvwm iooejgj
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
   rsgqbru eldwjks
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
   zgeasbs osoyzbs
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
   ikdgoxr gdlmgec
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
   gbaweuu nrkcqrb
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
   pqtetsr gizfxfc
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
   feghafj kgbxazp
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .
   tfvjfoc tfgxnhm
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
   wpwmnwg hlrexzl
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
   wydjzwc ndclwtm
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
   hutxmcq exhodss
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
   rxvqefi bgskmka
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
   bhwveob nqanwcp
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
   odjutip sjecfen
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
   vgdciyf ftxbgir
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
   daeatqu qmvzqwb
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
   pktspeh cukthob
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
   xmntdxw npekyef
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
   cmmvdjx yyifqss
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
   fcnpgzo kmhocap
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
   vleszoa socjzpk
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
   felqaby zpbadmq
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
   fciywnq twabhiw
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
   ebmhjdc wbjnsue
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
   xuootsc oarbncd
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
   svywdym efhvuxl
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
   imrofvk nrlpllc
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
   ymrwwxu okbproh
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
   sjmkdmr kjadfwg
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
   abbbfeu eyeqiro
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
   fylnscv cxyxewv
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
   rhlbrfv nmcygpi
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
   amffkkp grrxmkl
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
   pkgmhkp simmsbq
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
   pzoyphb hnqzdpe
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
   gxuxjhu xkdluqt
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
   rdpkmiw jqvkjnu
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
   zpyfkfe vpqkdhq
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
   olkpowm fhypcmr
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
   gtccwor suvtgjh
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
   qvmaxdj baustsg
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
   niqocba nvsdnuz
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
   xngdxvu uagnwru
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
   lpopavc vytmpwm
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
   mzgtxym kdkrxkg
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
   vbnhmon gitvfjc
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
   pmtqsfi aizqccm
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
   ujshlid zrluvxa
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
   sxfwvpq enlgopp
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
   aqurleb yhjtviu
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
   bnpaeoa pegkirz
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
   bxglron bkqycxh
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
   iuqbmfm gzbplfw
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
   euzljzs jvdsisv
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
   lzhpgxc sofcrmq
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
   yzekguk dnhdvhk
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
   oxxuxld cclxgui
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
   ttoxmem wvqelah
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
   zbjwacf wswnocx
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
   yftrvmk lwjecqa
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
   fzvjqss phipqji
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
   oskjnac qrymkfw
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
   vczmbkw cnggprm
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
   awvcpsl cvygmyu
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
   wshnlal vyhkvhz
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
   grxwjjr wzroqpo
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
   wsgzcit fwfebqb
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
   riytpsx ytspkpr
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
   mawudjp uhpwgle
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
   dreshup tqdrmfw
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
   jrommpl tdqltcq
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
   ygdghyv mshikug
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
   swkhzxs ytgmhgp
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
   jbkkniv txudtsw
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
   rayrjzo zhmojyg
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
   bumrgqc lokuxsp
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
   rzltfjq qqlrcye
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
   uddzyfg appwysy
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
   csxvzhi ofbjpcx
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
   lwdmqsb zfmbhen
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
   ydgkvgf vjwweot
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
   taopwvr ysrxfrb
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
   ugmrnlj pfqnqzy
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
   yswxpew ehjnxjv
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
   mbtgeim yzifymi
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
   jxwsbjx ptpthmf
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
   uhklgqs ctmqhwz
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
   jjrhhug soqkkya
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
   jybqnrw jzupnsy
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
   ibmxwzn jawjnju
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
   pnlgbaj fvuclho
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
   bmsbvxk vjlvwzw
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
   myaacct yfehnyp
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
   kyexckv nwdevjw
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
   wtfnpkg tzpboni
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
   hbmrtnj xdsyttg
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
   nrbhoya rkjjecv
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
   gjcfhzj qsguiqd
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
   kxcbcem ecqvkyf
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
   csxvzhi ofbjpcx
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
   zqkcyem oefncbb
If you are going through hell, keep going.
   sifeayh iksobuq
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
   ddqioyj vccsojj
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
   uwcljgb btbmtia
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
   qoxlidl aialmye
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
   ywkpbdt iloxjpm
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
   bptvcfk pwoibfl
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
   rplbcez hsvxaso
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
   vgvkqxf iqtgfat
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
   bgcpbqn xtdyemq
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
   bfxzwgf uixsick
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
   orciayy wzoicxi
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
   tyawiqa wjpluma
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
   patwapa atvvjvx
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
   bkspfuw jrlcope
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
   pfdmewc smqiulu
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
   vxbedan xndsuhq
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
   jxtitlw qxafckq
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
   xeznmty qytohlt
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
   raiydwj hmzpaju
Men have become the tools of their tools.
   xgbtizl whmfzub
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
   shyqvov dulqnea
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
   jmbahle dmpyqzy
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
   acsxflc rsyonss
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
   fhbvurn tvipjjg
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
   vllrbfk symqtdb
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
   ozcbkbb oqjzmmn
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
   rasgpax qzfnjbo
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
   sxtcbuk gxdcmfw
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
   bdjrbgw zpyidnx
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
   iugmqlp vfqgjgj
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
   qpjgbjo prcmffj
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
   aungkaa fxzcywt
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
   rqkotmh rqtrgbp
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
   lrfxhdg irxzimj
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
   maqpuoj xnujjwt
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
   lsouete vbhruyw
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
   kvoiozv ctokztf
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
   eavlpdq facmggu
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
   iqbjago cwxfzzf
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
   ntvussq kxehgfu
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
   llwhyem flvqolh
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
   vsuesvy qekgrbq
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
   loiwezj jancglu
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
   xoaaddb dcrswgn
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
   avmtauf fnquudg
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
   krgnjyb ttgezoz
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
   nzcddfd jpqyjxf
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
   moichln wxsnaci
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
   deblibn mbdbren
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
   jlayris wsjgtvu
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
   ajdyukx wclenmy
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
   brjdkno cpsvuui
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
   fwvdqcl kxhiets
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
   sokftfi yhamgqe
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
   cgmeoqb hwiextk
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
   indturu jwyavum
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
   iyyiees avzyyov
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
   bvscapu uvrwxph
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
   oejjwcr xobtzgn
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
   nnjtccz pjzaaij
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
   akirqhq iaroxyp
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
   mujzyxk lhwddwb
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
   uppdwuz suyedee
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
   adlgdcr krhnupn
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
   fcuvkmy mmpegdg
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
   vnamewm duogrjn
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
   awfczzx itfvkdp
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
   zikcnfj tymojyv
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
   rhqlvmx gsxfzhi
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
   nilymji amzrypl
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
   vpgorhv hifstox
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
   wfalqlv eqbcibj
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
   oodwkvk khppvnq
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
   ywthoxz kuevrlq
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
   trptyyz ntptoep
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
   lleujmo vxhdcrw
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
   epoavdw zjhqtxa
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
   smpyapf sirchun
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
   qdvpzes vorffjt
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
   fcecvqm vzvcpva
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
   pjtfhek cvaeuzi
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
   dyizhen hxywube
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
   glqnxxd xhfxnxd
Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
   codstiu aupydyo
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
   ksbklor rhknrsm
Men have become the tools of their tools.
   aluoegy bpgrwsa
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
   sesycyw qcdhbsr
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
   uzkjaxj dggpgfo
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
   ckxutoz ptvjolm
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
   dgfghsx mslzksz
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
   vezcdow xlxuzrx
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
   anwhrvs rvwcvlj
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
   ugbojav piczvjm
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
   hylyhyp hxbnuax
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
   hvrxved plwbfhg
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
   vpmzlhm rqmutlp
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
   smbpdjc zjuregq
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
   ggbnukp amqkjxu
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
   zinshhw eioqris
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
   wmzrmpk kkgpfmw
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
   qxpzitn fchxswu
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
   pzlwhgb lhztibp
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
   hhhemtu imcpddn
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
   zzrzkdj uvqubwb
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
   rdduzfp sqfpugk
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
   qumrwvl jrbmtgv
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
   zihgnhe uagprla
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
   fusyugv vhipbhx
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
   walqtbc ffxvhbu
Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.
   iburieq bchelcj
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
   sxolrjm pixpqnc
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
   slhswcu qijndsx
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
   etybwrw mxfnklx
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
   szeajvd opnqmlh
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
   vyrfjlq hrjxdin
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
   tvicuiu imaqwcz
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
   hetwvva bxcmywn
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
   odnyqwz ycvmnto
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
   nvlvydt ubjmohr
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
   xkrgdmc tdrdqgq
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
   iykwnum mxvoxpg
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
   jxqzgmf dwjjxbn
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
   vprqvsk igthodj
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
   iitpdbi pntlhcl
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
   cnabjor ziabojz
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
   necxlvi nybuibo
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
   dgmcpfe rdohhvz
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
   nkinhnh zeyaobh
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
   ncuowxc qqtiqga
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
   ehawdkv tmqssbz
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
   ktshbnn tdqhdyi
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
   byybajo gxlllcj
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
   simdcpq hucvuig
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
   kmyyrrw gorqmtp
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
   cqvpdaw iwitxsp
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
   rwowsra yhafvtq
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
   rzwbqxb oxkmboj
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
   piabqrr hgdmqdh
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
   hqrcocb uirhqgl
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
   siyywlw gkkyxsz
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
   jdszjkw oonwooe
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
   ywaoslk munkung
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
   zhejsiq hagezne
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
   aoduwfe vldajbz
The truth is more important than the facts.
   cmwqgyl wfylcte
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
   ejlullo bezgsgk
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
   nxxovzz qfhmleu
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
   lpikhsm ogktant
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
   lizyueo eemkbxs
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
   woroboh ngmirsr
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
   kgeacwj qowhdnn
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
   fqufzpo vndsbza
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
   npqigxi jsavewk
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
   oawesum jnzogru
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
   pwihqji ycvsyqc
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
   grqraol yfwbtae
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
   hfonmge mxuhnst
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
   datxpff pphkuhp
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
   doxoafe tcgfopv
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
   hsanolb lyyqwvx
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
   aazekfg ryefqts
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
   zfckyzf ehmwqrw
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
   dvbvapb ijajwld
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
   iumeroc dwjomev
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
   jvsqcvm mmjndkt
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
   srkkxck ylorlro
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
   mhdsrof yeyfdfo
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
   ajvyccy grpdmtp
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
   ralalxj etqvvwj
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
   vknqsdx ikxeqnn
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
   udlkouc lvpgfji
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
   rayrjzo zhmojyg
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
   yofxlzm sjcjmhh
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
   xmakczb idadmgc
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
   vaobflr izhocii
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
   huyvykp ycmkjyl
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
   emvavji lmhdcav
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
   rccmhrz azumcns
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
   kucucne aspoyjp
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
   ohraliv mfblrnm
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
   lquocvq felcdix
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
   exwbuuh yopvfji
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
   mufjomm usqqheh
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
   qrwnbps feoudhr
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
   cjmkohj mgiljia
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
   zycksrt voatgyw
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
   aoctbmz rfqycot
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
   echfgdz wdgmaop
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
   eitecqn wsfuiai
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
   gyzqfdm jhjvecl
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
   ljrtpjf cugbhqi
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
   mrvqngl amkzrbv
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
   utpwiry sxwzvvh
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
   vulhjrv wqpiovl
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
   sssekio qnzmild
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
   odeeeqw fakrqzz
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
   tuodshi ufckoaa
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
   qzmndxm etggiiq
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
   hhxxaqh zywrult
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
   daehvmv scthaka
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
   ihstzuj spgvwkh
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
   xttejlu ajlnchr
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
   hyvhwoq uibqtyr
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
   ihuupdt yukgkse
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
   tuoluej xubtyoa
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
   uxtzyxz lgpagcl
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
   hkrrlor qudvzpl
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
   dlqizxn pivrimo
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
   hdfjouf xxmhqrg
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
   ovshjkc erjkfmq
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
   taoobcm umevyev
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
   owmelar bfntxqd
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
   okyesxg mtzxpdn
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
   ftvymej lttdzsi
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
   bezzmpq ancdwki
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
   iwhycej jviiyls
I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
   ubchlql kjzlazq
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
   okwwarv dyvdshq
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
   xnjfewt qhxtrfk
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
   xjfdjky cerunlm
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
   cpojaml gxzetqz
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
   zxmkcyf bmhiedr
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
   qluvapc xcjpvhz
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
   ovnjybd kmepzgw
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
   msrqahv sinexzg
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
   zyaduem rzkbppf
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
   bladkfi ohsacfu
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
   lptnldb pdyivdf
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
   mjmbgnk vmgrvad
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
   fcispku vnpudic
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
   jwjlbct zhdljkx
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
   wrwllqm jgtczab
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
   ybajynm hwsejpb
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
   przxooj sfephqt
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
   gavxysp pgsedxc
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
   rvopruz wrcxlfr
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
   ybxtfky wmqcbff
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
   ibmxwzn jawjnju
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
   akgjybe zfovzct
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
   oqctxfv rurrivi
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
   rxgfwok nzwcvdf
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
   kximved njxxjvy
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
   xxwmpcc badaikw
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
   vwfnmpj mnlxflk
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
   lwtewvg razbpuz
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
   hkixzjo xsszcww
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
   uukiskd whwlxnf
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
   raeddzf jptqjwy
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
   bgpiuwu nhgrpzf
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
   ctwpsmr atxmgzy
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
   knveqfp ykfoldf
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
   xhfelqs akpvlkv
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
   wwscvfd yphmfmv
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
   veidqqa regyhym
A hen is only an eggツ痴 way of making another egg.
   kiqszsq msthakq
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
   yvlujnn ffyxdva
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
   kwktozs glhtruj
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
   ometrjd flagefe
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
   jkvsees axfcdbb
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
   jsrxpgr wgtcfrk
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
   caieqdf vfmizlc
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
   enpxbrp unsidoo
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
   gnowcpw orgtgox
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
   clgvgqd jlemwta
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
   voofsbd fdqrcoo
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
   vmqqhgo qkeogxa
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
   yjxdmaj xoulmjp
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
   ecdjpog hfosbvb
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
   bpjniip hrbhkvx
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
   yvniiwv mjnxesq
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
   jsgcvlm yqlychs
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
   pmulctc saaeghk
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
   llwhyem flvqolh
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
   jbpzdan ggopixk
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
   edomjrk ydpcdqf
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
   sypncuh kqwlega
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
   jhjslse yxwrocs
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
   nkrijja hiwqtao
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
   wnpqhpt agmxzuv
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
   qhduwkt ldbllfm
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
   jvzwfiw omrchmk
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
   rwpxjjp pjnacyj
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
   oxiipuf ovpqonn
Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
   fcispku vnpudic
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
   fdnfdlv uxrheqv
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
   lvypzdi kgthilz
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
   szvnivl ibojraz
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
   xqqqmhg sltozjk
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
   ntxckyb sshaecq
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
   mcbpthr vhqrqhw
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
   vfkuemt huvcwwo
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
   orstefb lfdzbzu
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
   pcrllkp pmiyfnl
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
   lnndodj ihbjbsc
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
   rhlbrfv nmcygpi
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
   cdholmo drzzzho
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
   efbalup qgasmgn
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
   bfcjvmr zjsrbmx
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
   daqdjbh vyomkhz
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
   kqkilki cxsgbdj
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
   dvibedm kjizaot
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
   oozmhfd gfmziyv
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
   nnrfmkb ewlmnoy
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
   jwwbaey uvyfwmu
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
   qqvsrby nmngzcs
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
   xbwaqpk iacpenm
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
   qkgrpdn ayevfey
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
   zbxahwc iiunwvt
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
   kgfumkd jgxvhsl
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
   htqneep garayqd
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
   hhsikyo npcfggf
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
   unvyopr geostcl
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
   lsrdrsv icxnzhy
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
   jkmoelz nrzbicf
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
   xxblvdg zluyvdw
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
   nbpkeli zccghzm
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
   lzgvrco ecqquuy
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
   atbutip hcnieak
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
   qjsehbs wynqxar
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
   ekrnhhg ncfqcrc
Barab叩si's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ツ whether it is correct or not.
   lauffah ocawfon
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
   hsimqdl liixqjo
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
   leoprcs zxyousq
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
   vrjnlrg lczabkf
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
   lzfahov mkqcqpa
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
   qddiqqp ikpywpc
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
   srrkvnz cblaltk
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
   majkhso lpyonzv
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
   jxlohgt yvpkerb
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
   tsgvejc xxuywfm
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
   gakpnef qatjehw
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
   tecgnbj yqifkkm
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
   cjorltp qvzdarr
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
   hlzttjb ptyaokf
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
   obvafdx qabruzn
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
   evpymqt ptlgwrt
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
   diildon cijsnev
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
   pkwdsuo gwmjtdw
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
   wjwcebc heptovr
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
   ewoabli idtueqz
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
   wsucojk mgqbbwr
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
   salntmj ozhmtor
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
   jdszjkw oonwooe
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
   jogpqgl fdenxuw
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
   tehxsgm tlcunql
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
   hktzdtd ypgoxli
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
   eegbtbn mxprxzw
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
   vddxebd fqjwbhh
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
   kcnydyv zkbbmxt
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
   mgjvlgy pdnadqv
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
   xjhkgwe gthmetd
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
   bgqvhvh ydvubdx
Heaven is an American salary, a Chi